Positivevibes asks: The last 2 years have been a rollercoaster for me and my partner. We have been together for 3 years. All started off well. He has a 9-year-old son and after we met I soon fell pregnant with our daughter. We found out she had a heart condition that was serious and affected her daily life in the first 3 months of her life. I ended up with postnatal depression, as I found things difficult. My daughter and I went into a mother and baby unit while I was unwell. After I got better, we soon settled in to being back home, all together. Then when she was 8 months, my partner became unwell with bowel cancer. And when our daughter was one she went in for open heart surgery and was touch-and-go for 3 months. Remarkably she pulled through. During this, my partner underwent chemo, so it was a heartbreaking time for all of us. In March, they both were on the mend, and things settled. My partner and I were distant, and hardly ever intimate. Then, in September this year, our beautiful 20-month-old daughter died. We are both struggling with this, so I do understand that his feelings are all over the place. But we have not been intimate for months – he only cuddles me when we sleep. We barely talk, and he only says “I love you” if I say it to him. I have tried so many times to talk to him about it all, but he won’t talk. He just says he does not know what’s going on with him, and shrugs every time I ask him. I feel like we end up in an argument if I push too much. I am really struggling. I have been trying to lay off the subject as I feel like it’s pushing him further away, but I’m so lonely. I am an affectionate person and need to feel loved. Instead I feel so lonely, and it’s also making me feel so unattractive (as it must be because of me). I have put on weight, and I don’t look the same as I did when we met. I end up crying myself to sleep most nights. We are in desperate need of help. I just don’t know what to do any more I can’t lose him as well!
Hi Positivevibes – Normally, we dogs look at you humans as lucky. You can drive around, you can shop at grocery stores, you can play video games… but your story reminds me that a human can go through tragedies that make us sound like the lucky ones. Of ... read more