“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
From the Author:
- Dating Advice from a Crazy Dog Guy“Oh no, you’re not one of those, are you?!” We all know the phrase “crazy cat lady,” conjuring images of bathrobed bitties sprinkling cat chow into bowls as hordes of filthy yowling tabbies descend. And we hear more and more of “crazy cat guys” too. But there’s not much talk ... read more
- Unconditional Love – As Taught by the Four-Legged MastersAnother Valentine’s Day is upon us – a day when it often appears that everyone else in the world has a perfectly happy committed relationship based in deep, abiding, and playful love. In other words, a day when most of us writhe in disappointment. It’s not that we’re saying we’re ... read more
- Straying into a Better New YearHow would you like you like to spend 2016 as contented, as centered, as… your dog? As a psychotherapist, I spend a lot of time dealing with people and our big-brained problems. On most issues, like how to create a telephone that uses 3D touch to show birds ... read more
From 
- Chica asks: I was really working on myself this past month. I made progress. I gave my final semester and was feeling really good about everything. I am also planning on changing my diet and I have been going to the gym regularly. But there is this one thing that bothers me a lot. One of my friend’s mom is suffering from cancer. It was detected 6 months ago, but she never told anything about it to anyone. A few days ago she texted my another friend and told her everything, as their families are kinda close. She also told her to inform me about her mom’s condition as she can’t go through that pain of informing people again and again. I was numb. I was so shocked and I am really worried about her. We were not exactly close and we weren’t talking much these past few months. I feel really guilty because I was unable to see her sadness under her happy facade. She always seemed calm and content in school. One could never imagine that such things have happened. Shirelle I finally gained courage and spoke to her today. The moment I heard her voice, I knew she was completely broken from inside. I didn’t know what to say except “I am here for you, always” and “You have to stay strong around your mother, you have to be her strength.” She cried for a few minutes. But somewhere I was out of words. I told her that I am here whenever you need me. I asked her if she wants to vent or cry some more, or wants to stay silent. She said she wants to hang up and stay alone for a while. I understood and told her again that I am one call away. Shirelle I don’t know how to face her. It’s a really really difficult phase for her. I can’t even imagine the amount of pain she feels. I really want to be there for her. But I don’t know how I should approach her. Whether I should check on her every few days, take her out so that she relaxes, and also I don’t know what is the right thing to say to her, or is it right to just listen and not to say anything. I am really really worried about her and her mother. Please tell me how I should talk to her because I am afraid of saying anything that would add up to her pain or make her feel worse.Hi Chica – Oh I love your heart! And I imagine your friend and her mother both do too. I find that there are three, or I guess four, ways humans show emotion. The one I wasn’t thinking of was to just show nothing at all, to be “too cool.” ... read more
- A Life of Time – how time awareness makes life betterSo let me begin this one with what they call a Disclaimer. Imagine that you were asked to write about the great historic landing of humans on the moon that took place 50 years ago this year. You might write about the history behind it, the international “Space Race” ... read more
- tinamv asks: This is kind of silly but I really want to do musical theatre classes, but the only good school in my area is the same one that my crush goes to, and I don’t want him to think I’m following him or anything because (embarrassingly) he already knows I like him. What should I do? Should I go anyway and ignore if he says anything? He and I are friends now, and I don’t want to like do anything to make him feel awkward. It’s very nerve-wracking.Hi tinamv – I find your question kind of funny, because I think you’re hitting on the two things that most terrify my Pack members – performing and approaching crushes. Both make humans incredibly self-conscious. And you’re kind of talking about dealing with both. With two exceptions. ... read more
- Ruby’s Quality AdviceDoes Ruby offer good advice? Dear Reader – Ruby offers absolutely phenomenal advice, and might have saved this site! The post Ruby’s Quality Advice appeared first on Ask Shirelle. ... read more
- Aadarsh asks: I’m in love with this girl. We were in a relationship for the past year. Everything was going fine until last month she said that she wanted to break up with me, saying that she doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. What should I do? How can I win her back? I really love her and want to be with her. We have our mentality differences and we used to argue sometimes, but it was never a big issue. She used to always be busy, so I used to nag her to give me time. Could the nagging be the reason behind the loss of her affection towards me?Hi Aadarsh – My friend, I am so very very sorry. I know just how painful this is, because I saw my human friend Handsome go through just his a few years ago. In his case, in fact, the woman was a bit more clear – she told him ... read more
- Cocohh asks: I am 7 months pregnant from an ex of mine who wants nothing to do with me or the baby. Can or should I tell his parents about the pregnancy instead? I could use a little support. Also I have grown up without my father or his family in my life. I would like my child to have both sides of her family in her life. Also, I have a cousin who is claiming to other people that she has a baby from my ex. I am confused as to whether she’s telling the truth or lying, because she was married all along to another guy, and now she is broken up from him and back at her mother’s home. I am so in shock and confused as to what I can do about this. Maybe I should just let sleeping dogs lie?Hi Cocohh – So okay, I have to start with your final question. I soooo appreciate people who let sleeping dogs lie. I’m always snoozing away on the bed next to Handsome, and he’ll roll over and just about tumble me off onto the floor, or he’ll reach over ... read more
- dasalujr asks: What does it take for a woman to keep a man and not lose him?Hi dalalujr – This is so funny. I have answered over a thousand questions on this website, and I think you’re the first person to ever ask me this. I get tons of questions on how to win someone, or asking whether or not they should stay – but ... read more
- GREED asks: My Girlfriend has a heart problem. She says that it would be a waste for me to stay with her, because she can’t trust her health, or might die young. She says that I am the only son in the family, so I should find someone better. I told her “in times of sour or in times of sweet we will have it together.” What does she want or mean? And what should I do? How to deal with her?Hi GREED – My friend, if any member of my pack has a name less fitting than yours, I’m not sure who that’d be. Any woman, and likely any man, who reads your letter is just going to melt, and wish they had someone in their life who loved ... read more
- Jhalli asks: If a girl changes her boyfriend in a particular time to find someone better for her life, but doesn’t find him – and approximately she changes her boyfriend more than 5 times? One day 2 or 3 boys out of them say that that girl is characterless, or a girl who slept with every boy and changed to another when she was satisfied, or they blackmail her with her photo and their chat. In this case, who is wrong – those boys or the girl? If the girl then why, and in that case, which path or step is right for her to follow? And if both then why?Hi Jhalli – Do you know the term “Double-Standard?” It means when a person has (or a lot of people have) the view that some people need to follow one rule in life, but others don’t. At its most extreme it’s the definition of oppression (one race can drink ... read more
- Mrs.Hinn asks: I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, and I love my boyfriend more than anyone does. His childhood wasn’t as good as one would want it to be. He has faced tonnes of comparisons & embarrassments by his own family members. They have been straight out rude & ruthless towards him. Each time he talks about it, I listen & guarantee him that I’ll always have his back no matter what. I, myself, am a very short tempered person. I cannot identify the reason for my sadness sometimes & blast out on everybody for no reason. It has happened a couple of times with my boyfriend. He thinks it’s because of him, when it’s actually not. End of the day, he apologizes for no reason and complains about how much of a burden he is to his family and everyone else too. This just kindles my anger even more, his convos regarding this are sadly narcissistic & always end up about him. I really don’t know how to react, I get migraines at times, unable to withstand his self-absorption. Please help!Hi Mrs.Hinn – You are touching on something very profound that most people – most psychologists even! – don’t realize. This is that Shame (the quality humans have of believing the worst about themselves, usually worthlessness, unlovability, etc.) is closely related to Narcissism (seeing all issues in life ... read more
- Melissa asks: Today after school me and my friends were sitting in the train station talking, when suddenly a bunch of men appeared and gave us problems, assaulting us. Both my friends were angry but I was calm when the man told me he so-called “loved” me. I said, “I love you too.” I even talked to the man who was bothering me to find out why he was doing this. Most people say you need to avoid such. Was I right to talk to them? Did I act in a right way?Hi Melissa – There are decisions in life where the answer is based on morality. Is it right to insult a helpless person? Is it right to hit a baby? Is it right to kick a puppy? (I’ll give you a hint about me – I’m going to say ... read more
- Snowball18 asks: My long distance boyfriend’s sister just died, and at the same time I came to know that he had lied to me about not having any girlfriends before me, and about being a virgin too. I am a virgin and this is my first relationship. I don’t know how to react to this – how and when should I tell him I know this?Hi Snowball18 – Oh what a horrible story! I’m so sorry, about his loss and about this awful discovery. I think the answer to your question, though, is that you need to divide these two issues up clearly. And ask yourself what you’d do with each. Now ... read more
- Smile asks: You may remember my question about my guy best friend. We beaome closer than ever after your amazing advice, but he has to leave for higher studies now, and I have one more year to complete in my current school (he was my senior). We will not be able to contact with each other for a long time because he is going to hostel (where phones are not allowed). We both completely understand that leaving for studies is important for his future, but both of us felt frustrated and sad after we said our final farewell. I hate goodbyes, and I feel like I will hate school more than ever now because he was my only true friend. It has now reached a point where I can’t concentrate on anything else except my sadness and the thought of him going. I also know that he feels the same, but there seems nothing we could do about it . I miss him so much. Please help me deal with it.Hi Smile – What a sad story! I wish I knew more – like how long he’ll be there, and if he can use a phone sometimes (maybe on weekends?). I can’t imagine he’s being cut off from all contact, unless he’s joining a monastery or on some other ... read more
- Suzen asks: I have a boyfriend. I lied him that I am addicted to drugs. Then he told this to his sister. Now I’ve fallen in love with him, but his sister doesn’t want me in his life. He’s upset. How do I get out of this situation?Hi Suzen – Your question reminds me of an old trick that lawyers like to play in courtrooms. They’ll get a person onto the stand, where they’ve sworn to tell the truth, and ask them a question like “Have you stopped beating your wife?” The person starts to argue ... read more
- HoneyBunny asks: I want to have a stable relationship. I will tell you something about my family background first, as many people keep on saying that my mind is unstable because of my family issues. So my mum and dad got separated 7 years ago, and my dad got into a relationship with some other lady, and my mum got married and has started staying with her husband in another city. She does provide me everything, but her presence is what I crave. I have no contact with my real father or his family. And I was in a relationship with a guy and we ended up because he was apparently cheating on me. And I like someone now but that guy is just like my real father. I don’t want myself to fall for him, because he isn’t doing any job – he drinks a lot, and even abuses a lot, but still I am very much attracted to him. Please suggest something.Hi HoneyBunny – This is really unfair! This is too many awful things happening to you all at once! I can’t even tell if you’re living with an adult now, or if you’re too young to be living that way, and … ARRGH it’s just not right! So ... read more