“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
From the Author:
- Dating Advice from a Crazy Dog Guy“Oh no, you’re not one of those, are you?!” We all know the phrase “crazy cat lady,” conjuring images of bathrobed bitties sprinkling cat chow into bowls as hordes of filthy yowling tabbies descend. And we hear more and more of “crazy cat guys” too. But there’s not much talk ... read more
- Unconditional Love – As Taught by the Four-Legged MastersAnother Valentine’s Day is upon us – a day when it often appears that everyone else in the world has a perfectly happy committed relationship based in deep, abiding, and playful love. In other words, a day when most of us writhe in disappointment. It’s not that we’re saying we’re ... read more
- Straying into a Better New YearHow would you like you like to spend 2016 as contented, as centered, as… your dog? As a psychotherapist, I spend a lot of time dealing with people and our big-brained problems. On most issues, like how to create a telephone that uses 3D touch to show birds ... read more
From 
- AayuTheLegend asks: My life is going downhill because my parents are falling apart, and my father was at the point of hitting my mother, and no one is supporting her except for us her loving children, and she is saying they will divorce. Please help me.Hi AayuTheLegend – I don’t know how old you are, my friend, but your earlier letters show me that you’re clearly not a young child. I have numerous posts on the AskShirelle site for kids going through this experience, which is one of the most awful things a child, or ... read more
- Awerpia asks: Although my girlfriend has been broken up with her ex for a year now, he still has numerous of her pictures with him posted on his Facebook account. She has made many efforts to convince him into deleting those pictures, but he has turned deaf ears. Even if we are to report him to Facebook for his account to be blocked, he has so many pictures of “both of them” that he can keep on posting on a different account. It’s very annoying and hurtful when I see those pictures or even just knowing that he posts them because it sends a false message to people as though they were still dating. Shirelle, I want the girl to be mine alone. I love her so much. What should I do? Should I just ignore it?Hi Awerpia – This is certainly one of the problems of social media. Someday maybe there’ll be a way to fix it, but I don’t see any now. I think you’re just stuck with it. But imagine what it was like before Facebook and Instagram and all. Would it bother ... read more
- Quirkymesss asks: I was in relationship with a guy for a year and a half. I then came to know that he was already dating someone, and had been for three years. So his girlfriend found out about me one day and threatened me to stay away from that guy. But this guy comes again in my life and apologizes for everything, and says he wants a relationship with me too. I also can’t refuse to accept his proposal because I love him and he told me that he also loves me. And again his girlfriend found out everything (I know I wasn’t doing right thing but I can’t forget him), and still he came back to me. This actually happened three times and I am not a girl who is so strong or fights with people. But the girl threatened to come find me at my college, and I have to leave that guy because I don’t want any big issue. She says they’re committed to each other, but he was saying that she is blackmailing him by cutting her wrist (and he show me that too). And that she is not ready to leave him, and that he wanted to broke up with her, but he is not doing this because he’s afraid she’d do something to me if he did. So I just want to know how to solve this situation, in a way that nothing bad wouldn’t happen to any of us.Hi Quirkymesss – I have two very different answers for you. One is how to deal with her, and the other is with him. I’m feeling pretty bad for her. He may say she’s blackmailing him, but it sounds to me like she’s an emotional mess (which is very different ... read more
- arjai101 asks: Rereading my letter to you made me realize I’m self-absorbed and vain. And, a lot of that whining was coming from a place of just hurt and pain. I guess there’s just been a whole lot of keeping it all inside. I honestly need to get my head screwed back on. Firstly, I’m trying to fix my relationship with food. I’m so tired of obsessing over what I eat and feeling hungry and tired and my workouts sucking. And then I indulge once, and I feel awful, and I go throw up. And, don’t come at me with the, “Do you know how unhealthy and dangerous that is? Don’t be stupid!” Believe me; I know; I know; I know. I know exactly what I’m doing to myself, read all the papers, and all the articles. And most of the time, I think I deserve it. I think I deserve every single second of it. Honestly, ever since I came out to my mom, it’s been downhill from there. Also, I finally stopped texting ex-marathon girl. I get that we’re friends. I know she’s a straight girl with a boyfriend. I’m not dumb and stupid. But, I feel like she has no real regard for me. And, I know I know I can’t blame anyone but myself. She owes me nothing. But, it just hurts so bad knowing I care so much more for her, more than she ever will for me. Then, there’s this guy who became a great friend to me, we’d talk about girls together – he knew exactly who and what I am – and still one night he made a clumsy stupid groping pass at me in his car. And when I pushed it away, he started making dumb excuses not to meet with me anymore. So I don’t know. I’ve been thinking and thinking and thinking. And maybe, I deserve it all. Maybe, I deserve every little thing. Perhaps it’s all my fault. I mean, it really all is. I brought all of this on me. I brought that weird sinister dark look the passes over my mom’s face every time there’s a subtle reminder that I’m gay. I brought getting felt up by that guy. Everything. Everything has my name on it. Lately, I’ve been trying to channel it all into anger. But then, you’re still just reminded how you mean almost nothing to that beautiful girl. How, you were nothing but some conquest to that guy. How another friend I trusted is off living his best life with all of his friends and adventures and better things to do. How, your mom doesn’t want you to tell anyone what you are. And church. And family. And all of my other irrelevant unimportant issues because I’m an entitled brat. And I, I just exist in some vast void of boredom and nothingness hoping to grasp onto some rope and get the hell out, but realizing that maybe everyone must want me to stay in there or maybe they forgot about me, or maybe just learn to shut up and disappear better. And, can I really blame them? All I do is hurt people; I can’t even help it; I don’t even know I’m doing it. But, I know I do. I mean, I must be. I know I just need to wait it out. I’ll be at college, and it’ll be better. That’s what everyone keeps saying. But, what if it doesn’t? What if I don’t shine bright enough or my personality annoys everyone? And, it’s just me, desperate as hell. You know, I was watching this interpretive dance video done by Eugene Lee Yang. And, he goes through all these colors, each one representing a stage in his life. And finally, in the end, he gets to violet. He’s standing there in this stunning ensemble, all just crashing down around him. And, it looks like everyone doesn’t even know what the hell to do with him. But, he’s just standing there despite everything, with this look of determination, like “You can’t tell me a thing anymore.” And you know, I just was thinking…God I hope I get to violet. I really hope there is just light at the end of the tunnel and I make it there alive. You know, it’s not really my nature to fade away. But, I don’t know, these past few months I just don’t know what to do with myself.Oh arjai101!!!! Hasn’t anyone told you that it’s animal abuse to break a dog’s heart?! And you SO break mine! Nothing you’re telling me about your actual, objective, situations is all that rare. A crush on a bland beautiful woman who can’t deal with your reality? Half the guys I ... read more
- Naina asks: I just had a fight with my mom and now she is not talking to me what should I do now?Hi Naina – Now of course I don’t know you, or her, but I can’t help but guess that this is a very abnormal event in your home. That her not talking to you is new, or at least rare. And usually it’s the other way; usually parents are begging ... read more
- Nsom asks: Hey, I really love this girl. But she says I’m not physically attracted to her. What should I do?Hi Nsom – This is one of the odder qualities of people, that I see every now and then. If I feel hungry, I feel hungry. And anyone telling me I’m not is just silly. And no one does that to us dogs. But I see it all the ... read more
- Awerpia asks: I love my girlfriend very much and I want to marry her But I am scared of what might happen if her ex-lover returns from the states. At the beginning of our relationship she had already broken up with the guy for some months, but it was difficult for her to totally cut ties from him because it was her first relationship. The guy forced her to bring him to me upon seeing our numerous calls and texts. And instead of talking about why he came to see me, he rather spoke of church issues realizing that we were from the same church. He texted me some months later just to introduce himself as her boyfriend though my girlfriend said they had broken up. I really don’t know how he got my number, and he wasn’t ready to tell me, so I blocked him. He then sent threatening messages to my girlfriend that it’s either he has her or no one else. They have broken up but he keeps telling her that if he returns from his journey and she is still single he would like to marry her. She loves me, no doubt about that. And I love her too. But my problem is when he visited me he came as a “friend.” Would I be a traitor by marrying the girl he’s dated for 3 years and wants to marry? Will I be safe marrying her? What if he tries harming me because it would look like I have taken his girlfriend from him, although that isn’t the case?Hi Awerpia – Wow, what a situation! This is an amazing letter! But I want you to try to ignore about 95% of it. And just focus on one question: What would you do if someone tried to force the woman you love into marrying them against her will? No ... read more
- Unemo asks: There’s this friend of mine. He liked me a few years back during high school but nothing happened and we lost contact after school. Two years back he got back into my contact. He initiated this friendship. We talked very occasionally. He used to call first. Recently we started to meet. After the third meet things changed between us. Things happened, but nothing extreme, and now I might have developed some feelings for him, I’m not sure though. Whenever I talk to him about dating, he never really says ANYTHING. Ever since we met after that third meeting, we have been getting more intimate, he has gotten more confident with his approaches. He’s never made me feel as if there was something special between us or if I was special. Once his friend video-called while we were together, and he asked me to hide my face and, hinting towards me, he told his friend that he was “busy” (we haven’t told anything to anyone). The thing is both of us have neither dated nor ever been in any sort of intimate relationship. And the video call act got me wondering if he ever really considered me even a friend, or was I just a potential intimate partner. I’m so confused. Really confused. How am I supposed to handle him? What am I supposed to do in this “friendship”?Hi Unemo – This is where humans make things so much more complex than they need to be. If I want to know how someone feels about me, I jump onto them and lick their face. If they like me, they’ll give me a hug, and if they don’t, they’ll ... read more
- Grv1011 asks: I am in a relationship with my love S. We both love each other and we want to marry, but her family is against me and my family. Let me explain in short but full story: 3 years of relationship; I had a friend in college, she and I were very frank, we even used bad words but just in a friendly way; My girl S read our messages and thought I’d cheated her, but she still loved me and stayed with me; after 2.5 year’s another friend of mine – she likes me and she was also my best friend – said she loved me a lot one day. Then she came to my city and asked me to meet. I was alone at home and refused. She kept requesting, and I accepted and ask her to come near to my home. But when i saw she was waiting outside my home with her elder sister (17) I got scared because my love S’s home is in front of my home. I thought her parents may have seen us and felt negative for me. I called her and asked her to come inside or go away; she came inside, stayed for a couple of minutes, and looked at my home – expect my room! One day I decided not to talk to her because I felt bad that my love may think or feel wrong. Then she called my girlfriend and lied to her that we had sex many times, in my room. But when I asked her about my room (conference call) she wasn’t able to describe it, since she never saw it. But then S believed her, and felt bad about our relationship. She stayed with me, but we fought daily. Then one day S’s cousin and his family told her parents about me and warned them to control S. Now they call her daily, blame her, and say she can’t marry me, because there’s no guarantee I won’t leave her, that they’d die first. So she’s frustrated, arguing with me all the time, and even talking about breaking up, and I’m afraid of losing her. Now please tell me, we both want to marry each other but these daily fights wear me down. Please reply with the solution. I want see her happy as we were.Hi Grv1011 – Wow, this is a crazy situation! And there are lots of other elements here (such as family issues), but biggest of all is definitely the lie this other girl told your girlfriend. And I can only come up with one solution to that one – you need ... read more
- Aunii asks: It is not about me. I want to ask about you. Do you like Dogs too much? Because you have pictured dogs all over your webpage.Hi Aunii – Do I like dogs too much? Is it possible to like dogs too much?! I don’t think so! I don’t think it’s possible to love dogs ENOUGH! We are the most fun, loving, great-smelling, cuddly, protective, playful, funny… did I say loving?! We’re just the best! Except that I love people ... read more
- The Great Art of Happying — an easy step to a better lifeYou’re probably aware, I don’t know nearly as much English as I write – I just have this amazing computer program that translates my doggy thoughts into words you can read. But I do have a pretty good ability to understand a few words – “Sit,” “Stay,” “Heel,” “GetAwayFromThatPlateKnuckleheadThat’sNotYourCheeseSandwich!” ... read more
- arjai101 asks: At the moment, I’m trying my hand at disappearing. I wonder if people will ever notice I’m gone. If they’ll notice I haven’t texted them or asked them to hang out or just anything. You think and you strive and you hope that one day you’ll matter to people. One day someone will text you first or reach out to you first or invite you somewhere first or anything. Literally anything. I feel so alone all of the time. And I keep thinking to myself, what else can I do. You get the perfect weave and the tiniest waist and the perfect abs and posture and composure. You practice and practice the piano. Finally, you play Beethoven, Chopin, exhilarating sonatas. You have the grades. You’re funny. You can cook literally anything. You dress to perfection. Sometimes you swear strangers heads turn when you walk past. But none of it. None of it. None of it. NONE OF IT WORKS!! No matter how friendly you are, how well you master body language, how much you make people laugh. No one cares. They’ll always tell you they’re busy and “forget” to answer your texts and so on and so on. I’m so tired of feeling so alone. I’m so tired. I’m just so tired. Do I have to set myself on fire? Everyone can’t be that busy. I just don’t know what to do anymore.Hey arjai101! Well as I’ve said many times over, I don’t understand what’s with these people! You are fascinating and exciting, and I’d imagine anyone would want you around. But for some reason they don’t seem to. And your letter does give me one thought about it. You are a ... read more
- aarya asks: I’m a female in a relationship. Now I have a past – my ex used to abuse me if I ever committed a mistake. My present boyfriend and I have dated 10 months, and now since i study abroad we are in a long distance relationship. He has issues with a male friend of mine. This guy was my good friend, but since my boyfriend did not like him I stopped talking to him. But here I have no friends. Last month that friend of mine said sorry, and asked me to a movie with a female friend to join us. I was alone there, and my guy has no time for me. I had no friends and so if anyone and asked to be my friend, without a second thought I’d said yes. So when my boyfriend came to know, he humiliated me. I begged his forgiveness, but he said such wrong things. This was a month ago. Till yesterday he did not say a word to me, but yesterday he again started to curse me for lying. I know I made a mistake, but this is not the way. I don’t know how to handle this. It is affecting my studies. Please help. I’m tired of handling it all alone.Hi aarya – I know it’s spelled differently, but I find it interesting that I’ve been writing often lately about my friend Aria, a wonderful dog whose life is good now, but who has such trouble trusting and judging correctly, because of all the abuse she’s suffered in her past. ... read more
- Snowball18 asks: My boyfriend just lost his sister 2 months back, and his grandfather is in a serious condition. Right now he just found out he failed his last semester exams, and today, his birthday, he gets to know his parents are probably getting divorced because his mother is still in shock over her daughter’s death and is not behaving normally. He even had suicidal thoughts a day back. I want to support him as much as I can but my parents don’t want me to see him, thinking I am still small (I am 18) and we are in a long distance. I can’t figure out how to help him but I just want him to know I am there for him.Hi Snowball18 – Wow that’s just awful! The poor guy – this is TOO MUCH! This is as tough as his life will probably ever get – all these hurts and losses and disasters at once. And so yes, I think you’re right that he needs your help. But I ... read more
- polarbear asks: She was in my school and I had a major crush on her, but I could never even speak to her later after school. She went to a different college from me, but after some time I met her on a bus, and she smiled and said hi. I too smiled and wished her hello, and left since I was in hurry. I then searched her on Instagram and started chatting with her. She replied. So what should I do now? Should I ask her out on a date and tell about the crush?Hi polarbear – WOW what a great story! It sounds like it should be a song! Now I’d have to know a lot more about her to be able to give you definite advice on what to do or when, but the one thing that’s VERY clear is that she ... read more