“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
From the Author:
- Dating Advice from a Crazy Dog Guy“Oh no, you’re not one of those, are you?!” We all know the phrase “crazy cat lady,” conjuring images of bathrobed bitties sprinkling cat chow into bowls as hordes of filthy yowling tabbies descend. And we hear more and more of “crazy cat guys” too. But there’s not much talk ... read more
- Unconditional Love – As Taught by the Four-Legged MastersAnother Valentine’s Day is upon us – a day when it often appears that everyone else in the world has a perfectly happy committed relationship based in deep, abiding, and playful love. In other words, a day when most of us writhe in disappointment. It’s not that we’re saying we’re ... read more
- Straying into a Better New YearHow would you like you like to spend 2016 as contented, as centered, as… your dog? As a psychotherapist, I spend a lot of time dealing with people and our big-brained problems. On most issues, like how to create a telephone that uses 3D touch to show birds ... read more
From 
- arjai101 asks: So, I applied to that technical university I told you about, and I got in. And, I decided to dual enroll there full time. Up until now, I’ve felt confident in my decision, but now I feel like I’ve just signed myself off to two years of loneliness. See, we were supposed to have a practice class or some orientation. But, it turns out that wasn’t for us!!! So, I have no idea how I’m supposed to meet other students like me on campus. It will literally be like finding a needle in a haystack. One of the reasons I chose to dual enroll was I thought it would be a good way of finding a tight-knit group of friends. But now, it will be absolutely impossible. I’m going to be on that campus all alone, and all my friends at my high school don’t exactly have flexible schedules, and I can already feel myself drifting away from the group. It’s just a natural thing that happens. Some might suggest, just make friends with those college kids; it’ll be fun blah blah. But let’s be realistic, what college kid is going to want to hang out with a 16-year-old?! It’s like being a freshman times two. And even if I miraculously did manage to make some college friends, it’s not like my mom would approve. So, I’d just be sneaking around her all the time, which would just be a massive headache. My mom will argue that there will be some nice campus kids from church on campus. But, I don’t want anything to do with them. I don’t want anything to do with our church; I can’t wait until I don’t have to go there. I don’t agree with about 90% of their views. Plus, the campus church kids will just want to make me study the bible, and I’m not exaggerating at all. So I guess my question is, what am I supposed to do about this? I’m still in clubs at my old school, but nothing is the same now that I’m not there every day. They went back to school three weeks ago and my first day is this Monday, so I’ve had three weeks to realize how lonely it is. I thought that this practice class/ orientation would help me meet some people, but apparently, that isn’t the case. What do I do? I don’t want to go back to my school. Plus, it’s a little late for that.Hi arjai101 – CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so impressed, and, to whatever degree a loving pooch can claim connection to you, SO PROUD OF YOU!!! I’m gonna be walking around today with my chest sticking out EXTRA far! WOW! Meanwhile, your question makes lots of sense. I ... read more
- G-face asks: I’ve had a lot of problems over the years that I’ve struggled with and gone to counseling for, and one of my biggest problems is my mom. I love her, but she’s always been a really judgmental person to me. She nit-picks on everyone and everything. It’s like if she doesn’t approve of something, she’s going to shame it until you don’t approve of it, either. And I feel like she does this with me a lot. She judges a lot of the things I say or do and acts as if they’re the stupidest things ever, and sometimes her negative comments really make me feel bad about myself. She’s also starting to see every difference of opinion as an argument, so if I say one thing wrong she starts raising her voice and defending herself. It’s come to the point where I don’t feel safe with her anymore. I can’t even have conversations with her and if she gets upset I just have to keep my mouth shut so she can have the last word. As I said earlier, I’ve gone to counseling for this before cause it got really bad at one point and I started having mental breakdowns. She even came to a couple of the sessions for group therapy, and that just made things worse. My relationship with my mother is starting to feel like a lost cause. And it’s hard because she’s really the only relationship I have right now. I just moved to a new city and I know no one, so I’ve been isolated for a while and have no one to talk to except her. I’m not really sure what to do about this situation. How to fix things with my mother, and also how to feel less isolated and lonely. Any ideas?Hi G-Face – This situation you’re in is awfully sad to read about, and way more common than you probably realize. I get lots of letters – from people of all ages – about situations like this. In fact, I guess you could say that what I ... read more
- Wooff asks: Recently, I’ve made some lifestyles changes. You could say, I’m going through a spiritual awakening. I have the years of hardship I’ve gone through to thank. I understand that these life lessons are our teachers. I want to delve into more before I get into the question. With this spiritual awakening, I’ve come to listen to my thoughts and decide on how to use these thoughts. I know everything in this world is up to you. But I’m in college at the moment. I have a diverse group of friends and sometimes I get sucked into their thought processes where we talk about other people or treat other people a certain way. I didn’t really have this problem back in high school when I mostly kept to myself and didn’t have many friends. So, how do I control how I think and behave around people who act and behave a certain way? Because it takes a lot of self control. Another question would be, why is it so hard to find people like you? I would really appreciate finding someone whose going through the same things as I am. I know there are people like me. But sometimes it gets lonely and hard to control myself.Hi Wooff! I’ll say it simply, my dear friend: this is hard. It always has been, and always will be. Most people don’t get the clarity you’re having. Because they had more friends from ages ten to eighteen, they have always adjusted themselves to their peers’ beliefs and ... read more
- Join my pack asks: I have a 9-yr-old son. How can I improve his memory power, as he always forget his stuff in the school and never completes his work? He is a very active child and very talkative. Then what is the reason that he is so lazy with his school works?Hi join my pack – I’m going to give you the worst answer in the world, one you’re likely to hate: Your son is right on schedule. You say your son is active and talkative; that tells me that he’s curious and interested in things, and he ... read more
- Flirty asks: Gastrointestinal gas. How to get a quick relief?Hi Flirty – Well, of course, as a dog, I’m going to tell you that nature offers two excellent ways to get relief from gas. Both involve getting the gas out of your body. One involves it moving upward/forward, and the other downward/backward. And both will get you ... read more
- Classychick asks: I just met a guy few weeks back, and fortunately for me I kind of like him, but I think he likes me more (and not even like but love), if he truly does the way I see his reactions towards me. But I don’t know how to test him, to see if he loves me. Although this guy is in his final levels in law school, I don’t know if he truly wants me (or just wants my body because I like him).Hi Classychick – You’re asking what looks like a simple question, but is actually really gigantic and complex. I’ve written other pieces on here trying to answer the question of What Is Love. But now you’re asking how to tell if what another person feels about you is love. ... read more
- Wooff asks: I’m thinking of going vegan. My family is not on board with this idea mainly owing to the fact they think this life style is damaging. I’ve completely cut off beef from my diet and I don’t consume pork anyway. I really want to study abroad for my university and I’ll be living alone then. I think I’ll try going vegan then. What do you think about the vegan life style? I’m willing to wait 2 more years before I can go vegan because of my parents but what do you think I should do?Hi Wooff – You are so sweet to always refer to me as a person, but of course you know I’m not. And we dogs are very carnivorous. In the wild, we and our wolf ancestors pretty much live exclusively on animals we catch or find. That’s the way our ... read more
- AHMAD asks: How can spoken English of the nursery and primary school pupils, who primarily speak other languages, be enhanced?Hi AHMAD – It should be clear, to anyone who has ever studied a foreign language, that actual classroom and homework instruction only teaches fundamentals. To really master a tongue, one needs different experiences with it. Especially because people who speak a language well tend to speak in very ... read more
- Reena asks: Four years ago, I had joined a job (mom had told me to work there temporary), but honestly it was more than a year and I got stuck there because we needed the money. The place was making me miserable because I wanted to join Aviation back then and because the money there wasn’t good. I couldn’t even mask my feelings anymore and it showed in my body language and some colleagues knew that something was wrong with me. This became apparent to my Trainer too, who assumed that I’m dealing with a breakup! There’s a saying here in India, “We as Indians love to do two things. 1st stare at people, 2nd assume things about people”. To add to it, some people in the batch told my trainer some good things about me and then this guy started chasing and dropping hints shamelessly that he wanted to be friends. He gave me the impression of being a terribly lonely person because no one in their right mind decides that you have become their best friend overnight. It takes time, it’s a process. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m not friendly but honestly I didn’t want to be friends with this guy for a number of reasons. Things that I had observed about him during training: He had intimacy issues, he wasn’t comfortable with emotions. He could be very cold to you, if it wasn’t his need (selfish). He could lie shamelessly to protect himself (manipulative). If you and he are not on the same page in life, he won’t even make an attempt to understand where you’re coming from. He just can’t understand why you are like that (lack of empathy)! I saw all these things, never said a word but decided, I don’t want this guy in my life at least. I used to royally ignore him but he just didn’t want to take a hint and leave me alone. Of course it hurt the irrational male ego. He wouldn’t let go. He started cornering me in class, asking questions he knew I wouldn’t be able to answer, damaged my reputation at work, telling people that I’m selfish and insensitive. To be honest, Shirelle, if he had ever come to me, told me like an adult that he wanted to talk to me, we could have sat and had a mature adult conversation where he could be transparent about his intentions and tell me upfront what he was looking for and I could honestly tell him that I’m not on the same page in life, not looking for the same things as him. I could tell him that if he is trying to move on from me, I could help him. I would be able to genuinely respect this guy. But no, that hurts the male ego. He wouldn’t do that. He would rather use indirect tactics, talk behind my back, make faces when I passed by, lie shamelessly, etc. Today, we’ve both left that job. However, he has now started to attack me on Facebook. Back then, he was telling people that he wants to help me out of humanity because it looks like I’m dealing with problems, he has no other intentions (remember, manipulative). Trust me, I am genuinely fed up of this guy who won’t take a hint and leave me alone. I want absolutely nothing to do with him. He is pretending like he doesn’t want to be friends with me but he complains about me saying I’m not very social blah blah blah. I don’t care. He is very immature and I don’t know how to get rid of him. Please help. I will not reciprocate, that is 110 % sure. However, if he needs my help to move on, I can definitely help.Hi Reena – I’ll be happy to help you, but I’m going to jump on your case on one issue first. As a dog, I tend to see people as all the same, or as individuals. Most broad-brush statements about groups (all women are emotional, all Americans are ... read more
- paytay143 asks: I’m 18, and about to be a sophomore in college. And I don’t even know where to begin. I came to you once for advice about an issue with my boyfriend and it really helped so much. So now I’m here again. But this time, the issue I’m having revolves around my parents. You see, my parents are in the middle of a very nasty and ugly divorce. It started really in the fall of last year. So not exactly great timing for me, as things between my parents escalated right as I was starting my first year of college. You see my dad is somewhat of a functioning emotionally abusive alcoholic. And he has never once treated my mother the way she deserves to be treated. I could go on and on about how horrible it was to be around him most of the time, but to sum it up, being at my house, it was like walking on eggshells around him. Even the slightest thing would set him off. Then he’d scream and yell and blame us and then go out and get wasted with his friends. Then he’d come home and just be awful to all of us. My mom has tried to leave him TWICE. But stayed with him for the sake of my sister and I. Well eventually sometime this past December, my dad moved out. Things were great at my house. My mom, my sister and I were all getting along awesome and everything was great. We were like our own cute little sorority house. Then dad started getting nasty and saying awful things to our friends and family about my mom. He called her horrible names and even said he wished she was dead. When my sister and I confronted him about this, he denied everything. And things kept getting uglier and uglier. At this point, this whole ordeal is a rollercoaster. Some days are fine and everyone is civil. And some days my father is just an awful person and says horrible things and then tries to manipulate us into thinking he’s a victim and that everything is my mom’s fault. At this point I just want this all to be over. I’m just waiting for the day that this divorce is final, but my father is doing everything in his power to prolong the ordeal. And now he is threatening to push the sale of our house. Yep. My father is basically trying to kick my mom, my little sister and I out of our own home. And apparently there’s a 50/50 chance that he’ll get away with it. He has constantly ruined so many things for me. He ruined my first year of college, he scarred a good part of my childhood because he was drunk for a good 75% of it, and now he’s trying to take my home away. And I can’t help but feel like this divorce is my fault. That me going to college, and working so much, and having a boyfriend and not being around so much, created problems. It wasn’t always bad around my home, ya know? Sure there were bad days, but my dad had a lot of good days too. He’s a goofball and he made us laugh and he loved to be outdoors and do something cool. But in this case, that little amount of good wasn’t enough. And I can’t help but feel like I’m to blame sometimes. Like I could have done more to help. And throughout this whole year I have let so much guilt and anger and sadness consume me and I really sucked at my first year of college. I can’t help but feel like I’ve failed everyone around me; my mom, my dad, my sister, my boyfriend, my friends, my family. And I feel like I’m not good enough for them and that I don’t deserve any of them. And I have never felt more useless, pathetic, and alone. I have no idea how to make things better for myself. I have no idea even if things will ever get better. I had an enormous breakdown last night and I needed someone to talk to and no one was around. I felt all of these crazy thoughts and feelings and I even almost called a suicide hotline but didn’t because I felt pathetic. I am so lost and I don’t even know what to do to move forward. I’m not even sure if you can help me, but I just need someone to tell me something that isn’t just “oh don’t worry everything will be okay.” And I guess that’s it. I could go on and on but I’d probably just be repeating myself.Hi paytay143 – So first of all, I want you to look at a post I have on the AskShirelle website, about when divorces are the kids’ fault. It was submitted by MyrnaFan1. Please read it first. . . . . . Okay. Did you cheat and ... read more
- Justinsbae asks: It’s Fathers’ Day once again, and I just feel like crying. I see everyone posting on social media about their dads and I’m just sitting here without one. I haven’t seen my dad since I was 3 or 4. I always assumed it was because he didn’t care, but then I see on the news this year that someone with the same name as him has been in prison for about 10 years, so maybe that was why he hasn’t come to see me. He also has a girlfriend and two other children. Anyway on to the advice bit. I need your help as he is getting out soon, and has contacted my mum and has asked to speak to me. But I’m not sure how I should do that as I hate talking on the phone and a text or letter can come off the wrong way. I feel the best way would be to meet him and tell him how much he has affected me, as that’s what I have always wanted to say to him. But I don’t think meeting him is possible as his girlfriend stopped sending me money through the post in the last two years apparently, so I’m guessing she wants nothing to do with me. Please help what is the best way of contacting him?Hi justinsbae – Wow! This letter makes my heart hurt! I am so sorry you’re going through all this! You bring up a number of really difficult issues. Parents who have girlfriends or boyfriends or spouses who try to keep them from interacting with their kids; how to ... read more
- uday asks: How to attract teenage girlsHi uday – I’ll throw an answer at you, but first, I have to make a confession. As a pup, I really don’t recognize ages that well. I certainly understand certain issues that pertain to teenagers more than to anyone else (final exams, drivers licenses, and zits, for example!). ... read more
- RoxchemaeAce asks: What am I gonna do with my boyfriend? I mean he had this girl friend before I met him, and as I was scrolling their messages from before, I discovered that there was something going on between them in the past but my boyfriend denies it. And now, the girl is always messaging him and telling him about what’s happening in her life and all. And it’s kinda irritating knowing that they had something, sort of feelings, before I met him. My boyfriend offered to get that girl blocked from both of our social media but I think it’s my pride who’s interfering, for I felt that it’s not the right thing to do (though I really want it). Urghhhh! It’s just so frustrating -_- though my boyfriend always says that it’s nothing, but something’s in me that keeps me suspicious. He says he loves me and that I’m his girlfriend now, but I really think and feel that there’s something, and I don’t know what that something is :’(Hi RoxchemaeAce – This is a tough issue for me to answer. I don’t really know what’s going on inside him, and neither do you, so it makes this all difficult. But two things stick out to me. First, it does sound like his ex is paying a lot ... read more
- Reena asks: It is a stereotype that men get scared of marriage. But why would any guy talk marriage within the first three weeks of dating? Furthermore, it makes me feel like he wants marriage more than he wants me! I know a few female friends who admitted to me that they played with their man’s mind to get what they wanted (marriage). Now I don’t fall into that stereotype. I am not someone who is super excited about marriage and has planned her babies’ names and what kind of house we’ll buy, etc. So what’s happening here? Is the “law of nature” at work here? That whatever you chase in life runs away from you, and whatever you run away from, runs after you?! Is it that, because am not that keen on marriage, it’s gotten him more interested in it, or is he just plain desperate?Hi Reena – My human friend Handsome is a great lover of animals, all animals. Of course I’m his favorite, but he’s the kind of guy who finds ants and elephants fascinating, and adores all sorts of pets. So, unlike me, he even likes cats. But he is ... read more
- sugarcandy asks: I am about to begin university. There has been something that’s bothering me a lot. I don’t know if it’s just my anxiety acting up but lately, I feel so scared about my future. There have been very complicated things happening in my life. Family issues. And I just feel so uncertain about everything in my life. I don’t even know how to explain this to you. It’s just really confusing because I can’t pinpoint that one particular thing that’s bothering me. I question myself about this every night. The only reasonable thing I can think of is that maybe I’m just scared of losing. Cause over the last few years, I have lost a lot of people in my life that I didn’t want to lose. I feel like we just grew apart, almost all of them I don’t talk to anymore. And that worries me a lot. The thought of losing everything else that’s left. Like for example, money. I convinced myself like, this money has my back, like this money, can save me, it can still buy me happiness. And deep down, I know it’s not true. But I can’t help it when a person after person is leaving me. It’s like I replace them with money, which can at least buy me comfort and “temporary happiness.” In addition to that, I’ve seen some of my relatives going broke, and watching them go through the struggles of not having money, that even adds up more to my anxiety of losing it. I have a fear not being able to control my own life. Like, I know it’s impossible to know what will happen in the future but it frustrates me that if something bad did happen, I won’t be prepared for it. I know it sounds ridiculous but I don’t know. I used to believe that I could overcome any obstacles that come to me. But nowadays, I’m not sure if I still believe in it. Maybe I just need motivation, like real hard-core motivation. I have so much pressure from my family. I don’t have a lot of friends either. And this all just seems so scary to me. I don’t know what to do.Hi sugarcandy – There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You’re correct about everything. Your letter shows me that you’re very mature and aware. Now that’s not the response you expected, is it?! Let me explain. If you ask a young child questions like “Do people ... read more