“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
From the Author:
- Dating Advice from a Crazy Dog Guy“Oh no, you’re not one of those, are you?!” We all know the phrase “crazy cat lady,” conjuring images of bathrobed bitties sprinkling cat chow into bowls as hordes of filthy yowling tabbies descend. And we hear more and more of “crazy cat guys” too. But there’s not much talk ... read more
- Unconditional Love – As Taught by the Four-Legged MastersAnother Valentine’s Day is upon us – a day when it often appears that everyone else in the world has a perfectly happy committed relationship based in deep, abiding, and playful love. In other words, a day when most of us writhe in disappointment. It’s not that we’re saying we’re ... read more
- Straying into a Better New YearHow would you like you like to spend 2016 as contented, as centered, as… your dog? As a psychotherapist, I spend a lot of time dealing with people and our big-brained problems. On most issues, like how to create a telephone that uses 3D touch to show birds ... read more
From 
- Haminah asks: I’m 19. And honestly my relationship has been draining. We’ve only been dating less than a year. But known each over for three. My question is, is a relationship always about changing for your partner? I feel like I am changing myself for someone, and it’s not from a good place personally. I don’t like these changes.Hi Haminah – I’m going to give you two answers, which will seem contradictory. And the reason for the contradiction might annoy you, so I’ll apologize in advance! My first answer is Absolutely. Even just a friendly relationship involves some changes – maybe you learn to hold back a couple ... read more
- The End of Democracy? a system on the brink of failureOf all the concepts humans have created, I think Democracy must be the most human. No other species works this way. Bees are born Workers, Drones, or Queens, and we dogs work out our leadership by fighting, sometimes to the death. You see, all the rest of us species ... read more
- ApoorvaO asks: I sometimes hate my life, no matter I restrain myself. I never go anywhere outside, my parents never took me to any holidays till now. I’m already 20, but have never been to any holidays. I don’t have friends either. All I do is study all year and take stress, and stay home all vacation and go back to hostel after vacation. It suffocates me, I have explained my parents that I need a break too. I need a getaway. They never understand, though even if they did, they cannot because of the financial crisis. I feel sad and frustrated. But I’m helpless.Hi ApoorvaO – Your life does sound awfully frustrating, and I sure agree it needs to change. But you make an interesting word choice – do you see it? You say you sometimes hate your life, no matter how “I restrain myself.” You see, my friend, the only thing that’s ... read more
- Mayumii asks: Good day, It’s me again. Over these past few weeks, my boyfriend has noticed that I am very sad, I easily get mad, and one time I cried for no simple reason. And I lately, I think too much about many things. I am thinking about my work, may career, my future, myself, and my family. Because of these, my head get hurt. What should I do? I know the answer is simple, but I just want to have someone that’s willing to talk to me, even about simple things.Hi Mayumii – If I were to summarize all the thousands of letters I’ve written over the years, to humans all over the world, I would say “You think too much! Pay more attention to your feelings!” And would you believe, you’re the first person ever to write me saying ... read more
- The Void asks: I am in a relationship with this girl for 8 months, she is the love of my life. But lately it seems that she has lost all attraction towards me, she keeps blaming me for everything I do. All the time she brings back the past mistakes I made and the fights we had. She does not want to meet me nor does she want to talk to me. Last month she got really sick and was hospitalized for that, I took care of her in the hospital for the whole month, not a single person from her family came, her friends did not even contact her. I was doing a job and I took a whole month off, which made my position in the company worse. And now, since she has gotten better, she wants to break up with me. She claims that she lost all trust in me because of something I hid about my academic history. She thinks that I am only using her because I have no one else. She has made this whole relationship a platonic one and now it has come to the point where she is not allowing me to hold her hand. She breaks all contact whenever it is convenient for her. She never expresses that she loves me like she used to. I feel used and mistreated. I want to die, I want to kill myself. Living is becoming more and more painful. I have invested so much time and effort into trying to make this work and got nothing in return. My friends tell me to break all contact with her and move on but honestly I don’t want it to end like this. I have made her my whole life when I am being treated like a slave. If I leave her, then that is the end of it and it will just mean that I got nothing out of this relationship other than pain and suffering. If I don’t leave, then she will continuously make me suffer. And I just don’t know what I will do. I think I will kill myself. But I have posted this because I don’t want to. Help!Hi The Void – This is an awful situation, no question about it. You have done all you can to try to win this woman over, while she refuses to allow you in, saying you’ve betrayed her trust with that academic issue. And your being there for her during ... read more
- Some Notes on Treason – what loyalty and betrayal meanA very dark word is being spoken in my country a lot these days: “Treason.” It means a few different things, and none of them is good. The word has been around since the thirteenth century, referring to betraying a trust. But it goes back to Latin – ... read more
- heyitgurlbaby asks: I’m from India, and I’m a Hindu. My ex-boyfriend is a Muslim. We dated for a while, but we broke up because we have no future due to social customs in India and religious difference. We love each other but there is no chance of marriage and stuff. So I just wanted to ask should we date again for temporary happiness, for JUST now, and not think about the future?Hi heyitgurlbaby – Wow, this is such a difficult situation! Frankly, I’m surprised you two even felt okay dating with your religious difference, but since you did, it makes me wonder how strict the rules are against you staying together. Is it really impossible? I ask, because my ... read more
- Jhalli asks: How can I stop myself from seeking the attention of everyone in my college?Hi Jhalli – I like attention. Or let me rephrase that – I LOVE attention! I like being noticed by dogs, by other animals, and especially by people. I like people to get as excited to see me as I am to see them, I love strangers petting my head, ... read more
- Kiran1209 asks: Hi, I met a girl through our parents. It’s been 6 months since I met her. We live in different cities. As I have experienced, I am always the one to initiate conversation or make a plan to meet up. But for past 1-2 months she has been avoiding to talk to me by giving multiple reasons. So I am not sure whether she is interested in me or not. I also asked her once whether she is interested in me and she said yes but since then she has not shown any sign of interest. What should I do ?Hi Kiran1209 – What a headache! Have you ever heard of a scientist named Ivan Pavlov? He did some famous experiments many years ago, where he trained dogs to expect a treat when they got a particular signal. Then he started giving them the signal without the treat, or even ... read more
- AayuTheLegend asks: My life is going downhill because my parents are falling apart, and my father was at the point of hitting my mother, and no one is supporting her except for us her loving children, and she is saying they will divorce. Please help me.Hi AayuTheLegend – I don’t know how old you are, my friend, but your earlier letters show me that you’re clearly not a young child. I have numerous posts on the AskShirelle site for kids going through this experience, which is one of the most awful things a child, or ... read more
- Awerpia asks: Although my girlfriend has been broken up with her ex for a year now, he still has numerous of her pictures with him posted on his Facebook account. She has made many efforts to convince him into deleting those pictures, but he has turned deaf ears. Even if we are to report him to Facebook for his account to be blocked, he has so many pictures of “both of them” that he can keep on posting on a different account. It’s very annoying and hurtful when I see those pictures or even just knowing that he posts them because it sends a false message to people as though they were still dating. Shirelle, I want the girl to be mine alone. I love her so much. What should I do? Should I just ignore it?Hi Awerpia – This is certainly one of the problems of social media. Someday maybe there’ll be a way to fix it, but I don’t see any now. I think you’re just stuck with it. But imagine what it was like before Facebook and Instagram and all. Would it bother ... read more
- Quirkymesss asks: I was in relationship with a guy for a year and a half. I then came to know that he was already dating someone, and had been for three years. So his girlfriend found out about me one day and threatened me to stay away from that guy. But this guy comes again in my life and apologizes for everything, and says he wants a relationship with me too. I also can’t refuse to accept his proposal because I love him and he told me that he also loves me. And again his girlfriend found out everything (I know I wasn’t doing right thing but I can’t forget him), and still he came back to me. This actually happened three times and I am not a girl who is so strong or fights with people. But the girl threatened to come find me at my college, and I have to leave that guy because I don’t want any big issue. She says they’re committed to each other, but he was saying that she is blackmailing him by cutting her wrist (and he show me that too). And that she is not ready to leave him, and that he wanted to broke up with her, but he is not doing this because he’s afraid she’d do something to me if he did. So I just want to know how to solve this situation, in a way that nothing bad wouldn’t happen to any of us.Hi Quirkymesss – I have two very different answers for you. One is how to deal with her, and the other is with him. I’m feeling pretty bad for her. He may say she’s blackmailing him, but it sounds to me like she’s an emotional mess (which is very different ... read more
- arjai101 asks: Rereading my letter to you made me realize I’m self-absorbed and vain. And, a lot of that whining was coming from a place of just hurt and pain. I guess there’s just been a whole lot of keeping it all inside. I honestly need to get my head screwed back on. Firstly, I’m trying to fix my relationship with food. I’m so tired of obsessing over what I eat and feeling hungry and tired and my workouts sucking. And then I indulge once, and I feel awful, and I go throw up. And, don’t come at me with the, “Do you know how unhealthy and dangerous that is? Don’t be stupid!” Believe me; I know; I know; I know. I know exactly what I’m doing to myself, read all the papers, and all the articles. And most of the time, I think I deserve it. I think I deserve every single second of it. Honestly, ever since I came out to my mom, it’s been downhill from there. Also, I finally stopped texting ex-marathon girl. I get that we’re friends. I know she’s a straight girl with a boyfriend. I’m not dumb and stupid. But, I feel like she has no real regard for me. And, I know I know I can’t blame anyone but myself. She owes me nothing. But, it just hurts so bad knowing I care so much more for her, more than she ever will for me. Then, there’s this guy who became a great friend to me, we’d talk about girls together – he knew exactly who and what I am – and still one night he made a clumsy stupid groping pass at me in his car. And when I pushed it away, he started making dumb excuses not to meet with me anymore. So I don’t know. I’ve been thinking and thinking and thinking. And maybe, I deserve it all. Maybe, I deserve every little thing. Perhaps it’s all my fault. I mean, it really all is. I brought all of this on me. I brought that weird sinister dark look the passes over my mom’s face every time there’s a subtle reminder that I’m gay. I brought getting felt up by that guy. Everything. Everything has my name on it. Lately, I’ve been trying to channel it all into anger. But then, you’re still just reminded how you mean almost nothing to that beautiful girl. How, you were nothing but some conquest to that guy. How another friend I trusted is off living his best life with all of his friends and adventures and better things to do. How, your mom doesn’t want you to tell anyone what you are. And church. And family. And all of my other irrelevant unimportant issues because I’m an entitled brat. And I, I just exist in some vast void of boredom and nothingness hoping to grasp onto some rope and get the hell out, but realizing that maybe everyone must want me to stay in there or maybe they forgot about me, or maybe just learn to shut up and disappear better. And, can I really blame them? All I do is hurt people; I can’t even help it; I don’t even know I’m doing it. But, I know I do. I mean, I must be. I know I just need to wait it out. I’ll be at college, and it’ll be better. That’s what everyone keeps saying. But, what if it doesn’t? What if I don’t shine bright enough or my personality annoys everyone? And, it’s just me, desperate as hell. You know, I was watching this interpretive dance video done by Eugene Lee Yang. And, he goes through all these colors, each one representing a stage in his life. And finally, in the end, he gets to violet. He’s standing there in this stunning ensemble, all just crashing down around him. And, it looks like everyone doesn’t even know what the hell to do with him. But, he’s just standing there despite everything, with this look of determination, like “You can’t tell me a thing anymore.” And you know, I just was thinking…God I hope I get to violet. I really hope there is just light at the end of the tunnel and I make it there alive. You know, it’s not really my nature to fade away. But, I don’t know, these past few months I just don’t know what to do with myself.Oh arjai101!!!! Hasn’t anyone told you that it’s animal abuse to break a dog’s heart?! And you SO break mine! Nothing you’re telling me about your actual, objective, situations is all that rare. A crush on a bland beautiful woman who can’t deal with your reality? Half the guys I ... read more
- Naina asks: I just had a fight with my mom and now she is not talking to me what should I do now?Hi Naina – Now of course I don’t know you, or her, but I can’t help but guess that this is a very abnormal event in your home. That her not talking to you is new, or at least rare. And usually it’s the other way; usually parents are begging ... read more
- Nsom asks: Hey, I really love this girl. But she says I’m not physically attracted to her. What should I do?Hi Nsom – This is one of the odder qualities of people, that I see every now and then. If I feel hungry, I feel hungry. And anyone telling me I’m not is just silly. And no one does that to us dogs. But I see it all the ... read more