“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
From the Author:
- Dating Advice from a Crazy Dog Guy“Oh no, you’re not one of those, are you?!” We all know the phrase “crazy cat lady,” conjuring images of bathrobed bitties sprinkling cat chow into bowls as hordes of filthy yowling tabbies descend. And we hear more and more of “crazy cat guys” too. But there’s not much talk ... read more
- Unconditional Love – As Taught by the Four-Legged MastersAnother Valentine’s Day is upon us – a day when it often appears that everyone else in the world has a perfectly happy committed relationship based in deep, abiding, and playful love. In other words, a day when most of us writhe in disappointment. It’s not that we’re saying we’re ... read more
- Straying into a Better New YearHow would you like you like to spend 2016 as contented, as centered, as… your dog? As a psychotherapist, I spend a lot of time dealing with people and our big-brained problems. On most issues, like how to create a telephone that uses 3D touch to show birds ... read more
From 
- Zel-bell asks: I am 8 months pregnant and my boyfriend has taken me for granted since the day I found out. He supports me with buying baby stuff etc., but he chooses his friends and nice times above me. I keep on giving him chances, but he just doesn’t adore me. He keeps making empty promises, so I decided to leave him. Can you help me get over him?Hi Zel-bell – I am not a big one for telling people to stay in the wrong relationship, but in your case I’m going to make an exception. For a couple of reasons. First, it is very normal for men to pull away a bit during their woman’s pregnancy. It’s ... read more
- Anvee asks: My ex and I dated for 2 months. After breaking up for one and a half months, I asked her if she wanted to get back together, and she told me that we needed to work on our friendship first instead of rushing into a relationship like last time, that she felt it was too fast and she became frustrated and scared, and she told me that she wants to graduate first so that she can be free finally as compared to now. Is there a chance of me getting her back by slowing being friends with her, or should I just move on?Hi Anvee – Of course I don’t know her, so I can’t say for sure whether she’s being honest with you, or with herself, about her wishes. But I can say that what she says is legit. Lots of couples go too far too fast, either physically or emotionally, and ... read more
- Hemant@12 asks: I’ve been in a relationship with a girl the last 2 years. My family does not approve of her, and they fixed my marriage to another girl. Then my girlfriend told me she is pregnant. And my family told me to abort the child; then we will accept your relationship (but they do not accept it). We are frim different castes. What can I do?Hi Hemant@12 – I need to begin my answer to you by saying that, first, I’m a dog and not a human, and so don’t belong to any religion or caste. And second, that I live in the United States, so I know that I don’t know everything about caste ... read more
- arjai101 asks: I went to a family reunion that was triggering. I finally finally get what people mean by “triggering” in the non-ironic sense of the word. But it wasn’t the family that did it. That was fine. It was the food. I was actually doing pretty fine with everything. But as the reunion wore on, I worried more and more. And then I started eating more, and making myself throw it up. Now, I can’t personally speak for everyone. But, the thing about making yourself throw up is that moment right before you get started and you’re staring down into the toilet is one of the worst parts. No matter how stuffed you feel or how determined you are, you will never want to do it less than in that very moment. When you march off to the bathroom, it seems like the best idea. When you’re in the midst of it, it’s uncomfortable but not that bad. And when you finish, most of the time, you don’t feel all that bad, it varies. Sometimes, you feel shame, sometimes like God, sometimes like I deserve this. Either way, you walk out there head held high, shoulders tilted back, sip your diet coke like nothing ever happened. Just like you taught yourself when you were little, convince people you were untouchable, invincible. Make them love you or make them hate you because they weren’t you. But, I guess I was never really invincible or untouchable from my own doing, which is the ironic thing about it all. Anyhow, this time I was coughing a lot, and I felt every single thing leaving my body in grave detail. Yet, I still just kept jabbing and jabbing down my throat. Cause, I knew I just had to fix it. I just had to fix everything I’d ever done and ever was. The bathroom was empty. But at one point, one of the little cousins roamed in and used the bathroom and God; I felt like such a loser hovered over the toilet clutching my stomach waiting in silence for her to leave. I said to myself, this is the last time. This is it. I can’t do this anymore. And you know what I did, the literal next day? The same exact thing. I can look at a plate and calculate the calories, the grams of protein, the grams of carbs. Tell me your weight, age, height, and activity level. I can probably give you your Basal Metabolic Rate. I can tell you how long it takes for you to deplete glycogen stores. I can tell you what percentage of your calories we’re used up in thermogenesis based on their macronutrient group. I can debate the intuitive eating lifestyle vs. chronic diet culture. Etc etc. etc. I’ve become quite the nutrition and fitness savant. And also, a complete neurotic bore to talk to most of the time. I’m trying to pinpoint why I’ve become so obsessive about it lately. I feel like I’ve really been disappointing everyone in my life on the down low for years. Or that, eventually, I will. Honestly, I don’t know. I just wish I could make it stop. I wish I could it make it all stop. This is going to sound cheesy. But sometimes, I wonder if being loved by someone you didn’t lie to in the slightest way about who you are makes it stop, at least for the briefest of moments. But that’s a dangerous and indefinite way of making it stop, waiting for some girl to “save” you. Nope, I’m just going to have to get together and eat like a normal freaking person. I was doing fine before. And now I know, what triggers it. And I, just have to think ahead and prepare. Addendum: It’s about six days later, and I’m doing great. I think. Think, I finally started getting into a pattern that works for me. And I guess, I’m just excited for the future. To leave it all behind, you know. I really am a blast most other times.Hi arjai101 – This is one of the most powerful and meaningful letters I’ve ever received. And I hate it. I hate it because it horrifies me. I hate it because of what you’ve been doing to yourself. I hate it because of the self-loathing and impossible-perfectionism it shows. I ... read more
- Haminah asks: I’m 19. And honestly my relationship has been draining. We’ve only been dating less than a year. But known each over for three. My question is, is a relationship always about changing for your partner? I feel like I am changing myself for someone, and it’s not from a good place personally. I don’t like these changes.Hi Haminah – I’m going to give you two answers, which will seem contradictory. And the reason for the contradiction might annoy you, so I’ll apologize in advance! My first answer is Absolutely. Even just a friendly relationship involves some changes – maybe you learn to hold back a couple ... read more
- The End of Democracy? a system on the brink of failureOf all the concepts humans have created, I think Democracy must be the most human. No other species works this way. Bees are born Workers, Drones, or Queens, and we dogs work out our leadership by fighting, sometimes to the death. You see, all the rest of us species ... read more
- ApoorvaO asks: I sometimes hate my life, no matter I restrain myself. I never go anywhere outside, my parents never took me to any holidays till now. I’m already 20, but have never been to any holidays. I don’t have friends either. All I do is study all year and take stress, and stay home all vacation and go back to hostel after vacation. It suffocates me, I have explained my parents that I need a break too. I need a getaway. They never understand, though even if they did, they cannot because of the financial crisis. I feel sad and frustrated. But I’m helpless.Hi ApoorvaO – Your life does sound awfully frustrating, and I sure agree it needs to change. But you make an interesting word choice – do you see it? You say you sometimes hate your life, no matter how “I restrain myself.” You see, my friend, the only thing that’s ... read more
- Mayumii asks: Good day, It’s me again. Over these past few weeks, my boyfriend has noticed that I am very sad, I easily get mad, and one time I cried for no simple reason. And I lately, I think too much about many things. I am thinking about my work, may career, my future, myself, and my family. Because of these, my head get hurt. What should I do? I know the answer is simple, but I just want to have someone that’s willing to talk to me, even about simple things.Hi Mayumii – If I were to summarize all the thousands of letters I’ve written over the years, to humans all over the world, I would say “You think too much! Pay more attention to your feelings!” And would you believe, you’re the first person ever to write me saying ... read more
- The Void asks: I am in a relationship with this girl for 8 months, she is the love of my life. But lately it seems that she has lost all attraction towards me, she keeps blaming me for everything I do. All the time she brings back the past mistakes I made and the fights we had. She does not want to meet me nor does she want to talk to me. Last month she got really sick and was hospitalized for that, I took care of her in the hospital for the whole month, not a single person from her family came, her friends did not even contact her. I was doing a job and I took a whole month off, which made my position in the company worse. And now, since she has gotten better, she wants to break up with me. She claims that she lost all trust in me because of something I hid about my academic history. She thinks that I am only using her because I have no one else. She has made this whole relationship a platonic one and now it has come to the point where she is not allowing me to hold her hand. She breaks all contact whenever it is convenient for her. She never expresses that she loves me like she used to. I feel used and mistreated. I want to die, I want to kill myself. Living is becoming more and more painful. I have invested so much time and effort into trying to make this work and got nothing in return. My friends tell me to break all contact with her and move on but honestly I don’t want it to end like this. I have made her my whole life when I am being treated like a slave. If I leave her, then that is the end of it and it will just mean that I got nothing out of this relationship other than pain and suffering. If I don’t leave, then she will continuously make me suffer. And I just don’t know what I will do. I think I will kill myself. But I have posted this because I don’t want to. Help!Hi The Void – This is an awful situation, no question about it. You have done all you can to try to win this woman over, while she refuses to allow you in, saying you’ve betrayed her trust with that academic issue. And your being there for her during ... read more
- Some Notes on Treason – what loyalty and betrayal meanA very dark word is being spoken in my country a lot these days: “Treason.” It means a few different things, and none of them is good. The word has been around since the thirteenth century, referring to betraying a trust. But it goes back to Latin – ... read more
- heyitgurlbaby asks: I’m from India, and I’m a Hindu. My ex-boyfriend is a Muslim. We dated for a while, but we broke up because we have no future due to social customs in India and religious difference. We love each other but there is no chance of marriage and stuff. So I just wanted to ask should we date again for temporary happiness, for JUST now, and not think about the future?Hi heyitgurlbaby – Wow, this is such a difficult situation! Frankly, I’m surprised you two even felt okay dating with your religious difference, but since you did, it makes me wonder how strict the rules are against you staying together. Is it really impossible? I ask, because my ... read more
- Jhalli asks: How can I stop myself from seeking the attention of everyone in my college?Hi Jhalli – I like attention. Or let me rephrase that – I LOVE attention! I like being noticed by dogs, by other animals, and especially by people. I like people to get as excited to see me as I am to see them, I love strangers petting my head, ... read more
- Kiran1209 asks: Hi, I met a girl through our parents. It’s been 6 months since I met her. We live in different cities. As I have experienced, I am always the one to initiate conversation or make a plan to meet up. But for past 1-2 months she has been avoiding to talk to me by giving multiple reasons. So I am not sure whether she is interested in me or not. I also asked her once whether she is interested in me and she said yes but since then she has not shown any sign of interest. What should I do ?Hi Kiran1209 – What a headache! Have you ever heard of a scientist named Ivan Pavlov? He did some famous experiments many years ago, where he trained dogs to expect a treat when they got a particular signal. Then he started giving them the signal without the treat, or even ... read more
- AayuTheLegend asks: My life is going downhill because my parents are falling apart, and my father was at the point of hitting my mother, and no one is supporting her except for us her loving children, and she is saying they will divorce. Please help me.Hi AayuTheLegend – I don’t know how old you are, my friend, but your earlier letters show me that you’re clearly not a young child. I have numerous posts on the AskShirelle site for kids going through this experience, which is one of the most awful things a child, or ... read more
- Awerpia asks: Although my girlfriend has been broken up with her ex for a year now, he still has numerous of her pictures with him posted on his Facebook account. She has made many efforts to convince him into deleting those pictures, but he has turned deaf ears. Even if we are to report him to Facebook for his account to be blocked, he has so many pictures of “both of them” that he can keep on posting on a different account. It’s very annoying and hurtful when I see those pictures or even just knowing that he posts them because it sends a false message to people as though they were still dating. Shirelle, I want the girl to be mine alone. I love her so much. What should I do? Should I just ignore it?Hi Awerpia – This is certainly one of the problems of social media. Someday maybe there’ll be a way to fix it, but I don’t see any now. I think you’re just stuck with it. But imagine what it was like before Facebook and Instagram and all. Would it bother ... read more