“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
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- arjai101 asks: A year ago, my mom switched careers. In order to do this, she had to pay for classes, attend etc. As a result, I had to stop taking piano lessons. She said I could start again in a few months once everything settled down and I would be out of town most of the summer anyways so I wouldn’t know the difference. But, here we are a year later and I’m still not taking lessons. At first, I practiced a ton. Even though I wasn’t taking lessons at the moment, I still wanted to hit the ground running when I did start again. As school started again and I realized it would be a long time before I’d get lessons. I suddenly just stopped playing. This also has to do with the fact that my mom and I rent two rooms in a friend’s house. The family is ALWAYS home; their kids are homeschooled. At first, I was just busy with school so I couldn’t really practice. In conjunction, I didn’t have a teacher pushing me or expecting anything from me, so I had no need. After a while, it became, I was afraid to practice because the family would hear and I used to be so good and now I sound like trash. Now, I’m afraid to look at, touch, or even hear a piano because it has been so long and I’m so afraid of all the hard work and money spent that went down the drain. It makes me so sad to think about it. It was a part of my life that defined me for so long and… I just don’t know anymore. And the worst part, I played today. And, it was worse than I had ever imagined. Everything is gone. I don’t even know what to do. I’ll probably never have lessons again. My family can’t afford it. (Despite the fact my mom makes more money than she did before this whole thing.) To rub salt in the wound, we still live with that family. Their kids take a million lessons and go to all kinds of ensembles and band this and that. Their parents practically beg them to practice, and they act like spoiled ungrateful brats. Here I am, and it all is just rotting away painfully. My mom is always like, just go play, it’s no big deal. But, it is a big deal. It’s painful to even be around other musicians, period. Just listening to classical music, it’s terrible. I miss music so much. I wish I could have what those kids have. I was just starting to really get somewhere when I had to stop. Everyone else got to keep progressing, and I got to go backward. Funny how nothing ever balances out. I have always had to overcome a very bad hand of cards and pretend like I’m just like everyone else and lie about my life and where I live. So forgive me world, if I choose to whine about this.Hi Arjai101 – Okay, so first things first: if there’s anyone anywhere who’s going to be okay with a little whining, it’s a dog! We whine all the time – out of fear, out of pain, out of excitement – so feel free to whine here all you like! ... read more
- Reena asks: I met a guy online. We are just 2 hrs away by flight btw but he never came down to see me neither allowed me to fly to see him. This guy is currently all of 27 yrs old, never worked a day in his life, his father still pays his bills. Dated more than half dozen women before me. He even admitted to me that he used to sleep around. And in his own words admitted he’s done the dirtiest nastiest things (sexually) I can imagine. We broke up last year but when I was with him he was overly concerned about not being taken advantage of. He wanted to marry me! I mean, why me?! Considering the kind of life he has lived, I am sure, he met better girls than me all those years. I need your insight into this. He treated me really badly when I was with him, but was hell-bent on marriage this time, I don’t know why. To the point where he kept terms and conditions before me stating that he can come to my town to meet me but we’ll not get physical but just hang out. I am a kid at heart and because I never had a boyfriend before (I am 27), I have a lot of unmet needs which he was extremely insensitive to. And because I never slept around like him, I never got my needs met. A need for security, stability, physical love (not sex), protection, etc. After our break up I met another guy and the obvious happened: we got physical too soon and I know why that happened. Simply because I was starved that much before. I mean, to be honest there’s a part of me whose self-esteem has taken a nice blow because 1) While he was in a live-in relationship with his ex, he never even came down once to see me (I know I shouldn’t compare but this is very telling); 2) Even when I met him, he was still in love with his ex; 3) He gave me nothing in the relationship. He lied lied and lied to me about soooo many things and was extremely secretive and manipulative. He has no job, no money, no life and can be extremely boring when he opens his mouth. Has mental health issues and often contradicts himself and has hygiene issues, doesn’t take care of himself, etc. Did I do right by walking away ?Hi Reena – Now I have to be honest here. I’m very smart for a dog, but there might be other advisors on the internet who are even smarter than I, and might have some better advice to give. There might be some who are wittier or more ... read more
- FORLLAH asks: I asked you a question recently concerning if I can date my friend’s ex. We’ve started dating, but I’m having a disturbed min. I’m 21 and he’s a year older than me. Do you think it would be appropriate to date him? Do you think I’d be respectful to him?Hi FORLLAH – This is a very easy question for me to answer: no problem at all! If you and he were younger, I’d have a few concerns – some places have laws about what ages are okay for dating which ages, and when you’re much younger (say ... read more
- Schulte asks: I am trying to figure out how to get my 3-year-old son to stop biting at preschool and fighting with the other kids for their toys. His father and I have been taking his toys away and grounding him to his room and giving him an early bed time when we get a report from his teacher that day saying he bites. We also talk to him telling him that is bad. He has a 6-month-old baby brother who has been teething so a lot of attention has been on his little brother. We pay attention to our older son and play with him.Hi Schulte – Oh boy did you write the right advisor on this!!! For the first two years of my life, biting was my greatest joy! I don’t remember everything, but Handsome tells me I basically ate, slept, and breathed only in order to chew and bite. I bit ... read more
- Shalini asks: I’m in a dance group.and everyone here teases my partner in dance by my name like as if there is something between us but only to him; no one teases me regarding him and everyone teases him like they don’t want me to know about it, like in a manner which should not be exposable to me. What should I make out of it since I have started liking him now? Earlier I didn’t, but now I do – I didn’t even think much about him till the teasing got me to give him a second look – and I want to know if he too likes me (which would be the most probable reason as to why all of them smile at him and tease him by my name). He’s a big joker, so are they just having fun with him, or do you think he actually likes me? How can I tell?Hi Shalini – Let me make sure I have this straight: In your dance group, you have a partner you like, and you don’t know if he likes you or not, but everyone else teases him about liking you, while not teasing you. Now I’m not a psychic, I’m only ... read more
- arjai101 asks: I suppose I’m contacting you because I think I’m deluding myself again. Remember how I said no one has ever liked me or what not? Well, I think someone might. Most of myself believes I’m just imagining it all. But, there is this one fleeting part that has somehow convinced myself that it might be true. Sometimes, I swear I see this person staring at me. Once again, I could be imagining this or just making things bigger than they really are. But, they always seem to hear what I say and respond when I think no one else is listening. They always seem slightly flustered when they ask me a question. They seem to actually find the stuff I say funny. I know I making this all bigger than it seems. They probably just think I’m a decent person to associate with or maybe they’re just using me. And even if they did like me, then what? The thought of it seems thrilling. But, I wouldn’t really know what to do. The whole ordeal is perplexing and mind consuming. Anyhow, am I deluding myself? What do I even do anyways?Hi arjai101 – Well you know that first I’m going to tell you you were always mistaken, because I like you and always have! And I only wish I were able to meet you and jump on you and lick your face till you’re giggling so hard you scream for mercy… but ... read more
- Daisaie asks: I’ve never been so depressed and broken. My parents are always yelling at me because apparently I’m failing to become the daughter they expect and things has gotten worse since last year. The class teacher is also making the matter worse. I try keeping myself motivated but it’s not working anymore. I’ve fell down from being a top student to failing in most subjects now. They never support me rather they end up discouraging me. Their comments have hurt me to the bottom of my heart and I’ll never be able to forget those. I’ve lost interest in everything. I seriously can’t take it anymore! I can’t even get a counselor. I really wanna get out of this mess so help me please.Hi Daisaie – Wow is this a sad letter! You sound to me like you’re in a full-on depression. That’s not abnormal, especially for a teenager. In fact, I’ve never known a teenage human to get from ten years old to twenty without getting depressed. But I know, that doesn’t make ... read more
- SEND HELP asks: So a few minutes ago I texted this guy just joking around, doing the same thing as he did to me in school today and the conversation kind of got awkward and I regret doing it. First he was like “who’s this” and so I replied and we had a small talk and then he was like “why’d you text me anyways?” So I just replied with something along the lines of “payback for school today”. I know it’s awkward but he’s in a relationship with my best friend and I’m just praying to God that he doesn’t tell her about our text and I just hope he doesn’t think I like him because I DO NOT. I’m just in Grade 6 now so a girl texting a guy is REALLY awkward if you’re not that close. PLEASE HELP I’M LITERALLY GONNA DIE IF HE TELLS MY FRIEND IDK WHAT TO DO.Hi SEND HELP – I’m afraid my response might be late, because you probably had to deal with any consequences of your text a few hours after you wrote me! But in case it’s still going on, here’s my response: You didn’t do anything wrong. Your ... read more
- YunoGasaiFan asks: Hi Shirelle, I have another question. And it’s very serious. So basically I scratch my face and I don’t know why, I want to stop but I can never resist not to. My face is full of “scabs” and scars. My parents think it’s some kind of mental issue but I looked it up and I think I have a skin picking disorder also known as dermatillomania. I kept on begging my mom to take me to the dermatologist but she either says, “okay tomorrow” or “you don’t have to go, just stop scratching your face, it’s that easy” But my dad reacts much worse he either reacts about how students at my school will see my face or he will say “that face is getting bad,” with a disgusted look. Sometimes I just lock myself in my room and cry about why I did this to my face and cry that I don’t know how to get rid of these “scabs” and scars. It started off in 6th grade and it’s still happening (I’m in 7th grade). I tell people at my school it’s a “skin condition” because I don’t want to scare them of knowing that I pick my face. But only one friend knows I scratch my face. When I looked up what I have probably had, I told my mom about this months ago, but after those months she did nothing about it, she probably forgot, that’s why she always asks me now “why do you scratch your face?” Out this very long story I have 2 questions: I’m really scared about how they will react but should I tell them the full story about how and why I got my “skin picking disorder” and keep pursuing to ask them to take me to a dermatologist? Or should I just not tell my parents and not “worry” them and ask my sister to take me? I’m sorry, I’m just really scared about how my parents will react if I choose the first one, especially my dad.Hi YunoGasaiFan – Sometimes people write me questions and I really wonder why. I’m a dog – I have a huge heart and a fairly good brain, but when I get questions about academic issues, I just think, “What in the world made you ask me?!” But your question isn’t ... read more
- arjai101 asks: I don’t really know what to do anymore. I guess I’m just over high school. There is absolutely nothing for me there anymore. I realized that yesterday. My friend canceled on me…again, but, still managed to go on a triple date the night before on a whim with people she doesn’t even really like. The friends I do have don’t really do it for me, never really did, to be honest. Actually, everyone and I mean everyone you could think of is dating or got something going on with someone else and I can’t even find just a normal friend to hang out with me on the weekend. I have a license and nowhere to go, just as my mom long prophesized. I’ve been thinking of just going to college two years early, I got into a state university, and I’m taking some math classes there this summer. And I’m applying to another university, which has a great engineering program for their fall semester. If I get in there, I’m definitely not going back to high school. I’m tired of taking classes that don’t fuel my drive. I feel like everyone just thinks terrible things about me. No one takes me seriously. The administration and teachers who are supposed to vouch for me don’t even remember my face when I wave at them in the hall, even though I was in their class just last semester. I feel so lonely. Well, I’ve felt so lonely these past few days. I’m an extrovert; I need people. But, I feel like an unwanted burden to everyone. I don’t think there is anything wrong with me. In theory, I feel that I’m a pretty cool person to hang around. All I feel is just shallow acquaintances. What should I do? Should I just skip out on the last two years of high school? How do I meet people outside of this suffocating circle? I feel like I go to places where I should meet people, but people are so distant. I’m horribly frustrated. I need a breath of fresh air. I need to feel valued.Hi arjai101 – I understand this completely. I was very good in obedience class when Handsome took me there, actually was the best student in the class I’m proud to say, but I never liked it (except that I got a lot of treats when I learned things ... read more
- AudreyKimberly146 asks: I really don’t feel good lately. I need a friend who’ll tell me everything will work out in the end. Even though this problem may seem stupid (gosh! Even I feel like it’s a stupid problem!!) I somehow can’t calm down. I feel so bad and I need someone who knows me truly, and understand what I’m going through. Well, I got friendzoned. He didn’t tell me face to face or anything (in that case, I won’t be writing this question but I’ll be bawling my eyes out), but I just know. Heck, he even admitted he used to at least slightly dislike me at first! And here’s the deal, I’ve been saying from the very start since I liked him that “OUR CHANCES OF BEING TOGETHER IS -100%!” To be honest, I still feel that way. It’s waay too impossible! He’s a friggin’ genius, there’s no way in hell he’d like me unless he’s a doofus! And continuously, a few of my inconsiderate friends whose hobbies are to rub salt on my wound, said “y’know, probably the cat’s out of the bag”. WELL YEAH, they kept on teasing me 24/7! If the cat’s not out of the bag then the cat’s probably dead! So the academic year is ending, and I asked him for a small note written for me. Things like “hi, thx for this year, hope we can be in the same class next year blablabla.” Well this little savage boi, started with an “Oi mate,” And that is how you can guess he’s friendzoning me. I mean, WHAT??? XDXDXD (I’m so sad to the point I laughed hahaha) Then he wrote very nice yet vague and unneeded thing: ” Thank you for working in group works unlike a certain someone.” Well, thank you for that. I guess I’ve been a useful colleague for almost a year huh? Glad to know that 🙂 Finally, the thing which killed me inside slowly yet so painfully; “you used to spread cancer but at least you don’t anymore.” WELL THEN I’M GLAD I STARTED EATING HEALTHIER SO I DON’T INFECT MY CANCER TO YOU PEOPLE AND GET CURED MYSELF! ;wwwwww; TTvTT Trust me, the rest of the day I kept on wondering when did I stop giving off such unlikeable vibes. I realized it was probably in January that he started treating me like, VERY nicely. And that’s probably the time when I stopped caring about my ‘image’ in front of him. I started laughing like usual, talking like a normal person without fearing to be disliked by him, etc. IF my train of thoughts were correct, that proved he likes me just the way I am way better than me fabricating my persona. The last, most questionable one (I kinda got him to straight his particular part out though), “So goodbye. -His name” He probably thought I was moving school or anything so I asked him, “why bye though? I’m not going anywhere?” He laughed it off and answered with a “well, still works. We may or may not be in the same class next year, so” This seems very minor, I’m MORE than well-aware about that. I know there are people are having way worse days than me. But my heart–well, I’m only a 10th grade after all–can’t take it. The slightest hints of rejection from him gives me the biggest heart attacks and rainstorms to form over my head and clouds there for the rest of the day. What do you think? I hope you’re not cringing from the stupid problem!Hi AudreyKimberly146 – No, I’m not cringing at all! Actually, you’re not really asking me a question, are you? You’re just coming to me with your feelings. And I love that. When I get to deal with people face-to-face, there’s nothing that makes me feel more important and needed than ... read more
- The Diamond Rule … a key to healthy relationshipsIt really should be easy, shouldn’t it? If I see another dog I think looks fun, I go up and sniff them, and if they smell right and are nice to me, we play. One of us might get tired more quickly than the other, or not like to ... read more
- Reena asks: It’s been more than nine years now that my single mother is an alcoholic. I won’t bore you with the details because even I am genuinely fed up and bored. Pastors, priests, counseling, therapy, lectures, elderly wise ppl advice etc. Everything is tried and tested, nothing has worked. SHE DOESN’T WANT TO QUIT. I am not a manipulative person and don’t know how to handle the issue. Over the years she has ruined our Birthdays, feasts, all special occasions with her uncontrollable drinking. The problem is, she is not a bad person. When she is sober, she is the sweetest, nicest person you might have met. When my friends come home, they like her more than me. I have asked her repeatedly over the years, what she wants? But she won’t open up. Trust me Shirelle, if she wants to re marry, I’ll stand by her. Forget society, forget her brothers and sisters. I’ll stand by her. Maybe she’s lonely, I don’t know. I’ve tried to figure out but in vain. She is a hairstylist and a few months back lost her work stuff worth almost 25,000. Lost a watch I gifted her worth 10,000 and has lost so many phones that she could appear in the book of records. She couldn’t care less. In my society, I am the crazy one because of my yelling and crying and breakdowns. I have stopped all that now since it is only painting me badly. I am all of 27 and am being very honest in this email. I have no Life and though I don’t show it, my colleagues see through me. They know I have no Life. There are a lot of money problems going on in the house right now and I give my entire salary in the house and sit at home every weekend because I have no money to go out. I have lost a few friends because of this and guys who I could date. Believe it or not, I have dated just one guy so far, that too online relationship. He never came to meet in person. My cousin’s sister makes fun of me because she knows I never have money. I am trying to help her as much as I can but don’t know what else to do. Maybe lack of money is the reason for her drinking, I don’t know. I have never told this to anyone but I am confiding in you in this email. I am even contemplating never getting married so I can help her financially till the end. She is a single mother and my father never provided any alimony. I know Life has been hard for her. And all I can do is help her. But I really don’t know what else I can do. She is very immature and I am tired of playing her mother. I genuinely don’t want to. I want to live like other normal single girls my age, who live and enjoy their lives. Please advise ??Hi Reena – Oh my dear, I have so much to say in response to you, it’s hard to know where to start. But maybe it’s best with the physical. I don’t know about birds, fish, or insects, but it does seem that all us mammals have brains ... read more
- minecraft asks: I am nearly 10 years old. I don’t know who else to tell this, because it’s really embarrassing. I have a lot of accidents; I some times dirty my pants and I still wet the bed at night. I do not know why I keep having accidents in the day. I get really embarrassed and sad, because my brothers and other kids make fun of me for it. I have six brothers and two sisters; I am the fourth oldest. My mum sometimes gets mad at me and she some times says things like she is going to put a nappy on me like my two-year-old brother (She only gets mad when I have accidents in the day, not about me wetting my bed). My mum took me to the doctor about why I have accidents in the day, and the doctor said I’m fine and there is nothing wrong. My mum said if I have one more accident she is going to put me a nappy on me, because she can’t keep buying me underwear and washing my clothes, and she says it will be a lot better for me because I will be more comfortable and I will sleep better. I don’t want to wear nappies because nappies are for babies. How do I get my mum not to put me in nappies?Hi minecraft – It’s very humiliating, I know, to have this problem, and I really respect you for having the courage to reach out and ask about it. I was lucky in this area. I was able to get paper-trained and house-trained very quickly. After that, there were a couple of times ... read more
- FORLLAH asks: Is it really right for me to date my friend’s ex-boyfriend?Hi FORLLAH – This is always difficult. It’s difficult when children become friends with kids their friends don’t like anymore, it’s difficult when adults divorce and make their friends (or, worst of all, their children) choose between them, and yes, it’s hard when you’re dating and you’re interested in ... read more