“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
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- Awerpia asks: I love my girlfriend very much and I want to marry her But I am scared of what might happen if her ex-lover returns from the states. At the beginning of our relationship she had already broken up with the guy for some months, but it was difficult for her to totally cut ties from him because it was her first relationship. The guy forced her to bring him to me upon seeing our numerous calls and texts. And instead of talking about why he came to see me, he rather spoke of church issues realizing that we were from the same church. He texted me some months later just to introduce himself as her boyfriend though my girlfriend said they had broken up. I really don’t know how he got my number, and he wasn’t ready to tell me, so I blocked him. He then sent threatening messages to my girlfriend that it’s either he has her or no one else. They have broken up but he keeps telling her that if he returns from his journey and she is still single he would like to marry her. She loves me, no doubt about that. And I love her too. But my problem is when he visited me he came as a “friend.” Would I be a traitor by marrying the girl he’s dated for 3 years and wants to marry? Will I be safe marrying her? What if he tries harming me because it would look like I have taken his girlfriend from him, although that isn’t the case?Hi Awerpia – Wow, what a situation! This is an amazing letter! But I want you to try to ignore about 95% of it. And just focus on one question: What would you do if someone tried to force the woman you love into marrying them against her will? No ... read more
- Unemo asks: There’s this friend of mine. He liked me a few years back during high school but nothing happened and we lost contact after school. Two years back he got back into my contact. He initiated this friendship. We talked very occasionally. He used to call first. Recently we started to meet. After the third meet things changed between us. Things happened, but nothing extreme, and now I might have developed some feelings for him, I’m not sure though. Whenever I talk to him about dating, he never really says ANYTHING. Ever since we met after that third meeting, we have been getting more intimate, he has gotten more confident with his approaches. He’s never made me feel as if there was something special between us or if I was special. Once his friend video-called while we were together, and he asked me to hide my face and, hinting towards me, he told his friend that he was “busy” (we haven’t told anything to anyone). The thing is both of us have neither dated nor ever been in any sort of intimate relationship. And the video call act got me wondering if he ever really considered me even a friend, or was I just a potential intimate partner. I’m so confused. Really confused. How am I supposed to handle him? What am I supposed to do in this “friendship”?Hi Unemo – This is where humans make things so much more complex than they need to be. If I want to know how someone feels about me, I jump onto them and lick their face. If they like me, they’ll give me a hug, and if they don’t, they’ll ... read more
- Grv1011 asks: I am in a relationship with my love S. We both love each other and we want to marry, but her family is against me and my family. Let me explain in short but full story: 3 years of relationship; I had a friend in college, she and I were very frank, we even used bad words but just in a friendly way; My girl S read our messages and thought I’d cheated her, but she still loved me and stayed with me; after 2.5 year’s another friend of mine – she likes me and she was also my best friend – said she loved me a lot one day. Then she came to my city and asked me to meet. I was alone at home and refused. She kept requesting, and I accepted and ask her to come near to my home. But when i saw she was waiting outside my home with her elder sister (17) I got scared because my love S’s home is in front of my home. I thought her parents may have seen us and felt negative for me. I called her and asked her to come inside or go away; she came inside, stayed for a couple of minutes, and looked at my home – expect my room! One day I decided not to talk to her because I felt bad that my love may think or feel wrong. Then she called my girlfriend and lied to her that we had sex many times, in my room. But when I asked her about my room (conference call) she wasn’t able to describe it, since she never saw it. But then S believed her, and felt bad about our relationship. She stayed with me, but we fought daily. Then one day S’s cousin and his family told her parents about me and warned them to control S. Now they call her daily, blame her, and say she can’t marry me, because there’s no guarantee I won’t leave her, that they’d die first. So she’s frustrated, arguing with me all the time, and even talking about breaking up, and I’m afraid of losing her. Now please tell me, we both want to marry each other but these daily fights wear me down. Please reply with the solution. I want see her happy as we were.Hi Grv1011 – Wow, this is a crazy situation! And there are lots of other elements here (such as family issues), but biggest of all is definitely the lie this other girl told your girlfriend. And I can only come up with one solution to that one – you need ... read more
- Aunii asks: It is not about me. I want to ask about you. Do you like Dogs too much? Because you have pictured dogs all over your webpage.Hi Aunii – Do I like dogs too much? Is it possible to like dogs too much?! I don’t think so! I don’t think it’s possible to love dogs ENOUGH! We are the most fun, loving, great-smelling, cuddly, protective, playful, funny… did I say loving?! We’re just the best! Except that I love people ... read more
- The Great Art of Happying — an easy step to a better lifeYou’re probably aware, I don’t know nearly as much English as I write – I just have this amazing computer program that translates my doggy thoughts into words you can read. But I do have a pretty good ability to understand a few words – “Sit,” “Stay,” “Heel,” “GetAwayFromThatPlateKnuckleheadThat’sNotYourCheeseSandwich!” ... read more
- arjai101 asks: At the moment, I’m trying my hand at disappearing. I wonder if people will ever notice I’m gone. If they’ll notice I haven’t texted them or asked them to hang out or just anything. You think and you strive and you hope that one day you’ll matter to people. One day someone will text you first or reach out to you first or invite you somewhere first or anything. Literally anything. I feel so alone all of the time. And I keep thinking to myself, what else can I do. You get the perfect weave and the tiniest waist and the perfect abs and posture and composure. You practice and practice the piano. Finally, you play Beethoven, Chopin, exhilarating sonatas. You have the grades. You’re funny. You can cook literally anything. You dress to perfection. Sometimes you swear strangers heads turn when you walk past. But none of it. None of it. None of it. NONE OF IT WORKS!! No matter how friendly you are, how well you master body language, how much you make people laugh. No one cares. They’ll always tell you they’re busy and “forget” to answer your texts and so on and so on. I’m so tired of feeling so alone. I’m so tired. I’m just so tired. Do I have to set myself on fire? Everyone can’t be that busy. I just don’t know what to do anymore.Hey arjai101! Well as I’ve said many times over, I don’t understand what’s with these people! You are fascinating and exciting, and I’d imagine anyone would want you around. But for some reason they don’t seem to. And your letter does give me one thought about it. You are a ... read more
- aarya asks: I’m a female in a relationship. Now I have a past – my ex used to abuse me if I ever committed a mistake. My present boyfriend and I have dated 10 months, and now since i study abroad we are in a long distance relationship. He has issues with a male friend of mine. This guy was my good friend, but since my boyfriend did not like him I stopped talking to him. But here I have no friends. Last month that friend of mine said sorry, and asked me to a movie with a female friend to join us. I was alone there, and my guy has no time for me. I had no friends and so if anyone and asked to be my friend, without a second thought I’d said yes. So when my boyfriend came to know, he humiliated me. I begged his forgiveness, but he said such wrong things. This was a month ago. Till yesterday he did not say a word to me, but yesterday he again started to curse me for lying. I know I made a mistake, but this is not the way. I don’t know how to handle this. It is affecting my studies. Please help. I’m tired of handling it all alone.Hi aarya – I know it’s spelled differently, but I find it interesting that I’ve been writing often lately about my friend Aria, a wonderful dog whose life is good now, but who has such trouble trusting and judging correctly, because of all the abuse she’s suffered in her past. ... read more
- Snowball18 asks: My boyfriend just lost his sister 2 months back, and his grandfather is in a serious condition. Right now he just found out he failed his last semester exams, and today, his birthday, he gets to know his parents are probably getting divorced because his mother is still in shock over her daughter’s death and is not behaving normally. He even had suicidal thoughts a day back. I want to support him as much as I can but my parents don’t want me to see him, thinking I am still small (I am 18) and we are in a long distance. I can’t figure out how to help him but I just want him to know I am there for him.Hi Snowball18 – Wow that’s just awful! The poor guy – this is TOO MUCH! This is as tough as his life will probably ever get – all these hurts and losses and disasters at once. And so yes, I think you’re right that he needs your help. But I ... read more
- polarbear asks: She was in my school and I had a major crush on her, but I could never even speak to her later after school. She went to a different college from me, but after some time I met her on a bus, and she smiled and said hi. I too smiled and wished her hello, and left since I was in hurry. I then searched her on Instagram and started chatting with her. She replied. So what should I do now? Should I ask her out on a date and tell about the crush?Hi polarbear – WOW what a great story! It sounds like it should be a song! Now I’d have to know a lot more about her to be able to give you definite advice on what to do or when, but the one thing that’s VERY clear is that she ... read more
- Nemo asks: My boyfriend drinks a lot, and he gets all angry at me after that, and now he has blocked me. He doesn’t give anyone a second chance. I literally wasn’t at any fault this time now. I wanna talk to him, I wanna get back together with him, and I am ready to apologize – but how do I when he’s not ready to listen?Hi Nemo – So I get questions like this a lot, especially recently. Now I’m going to turn it around onto you. Imagine I wrote you, and said “I have a human who gets drunk and beats me with his belt. I can’t trust him, and sometimes it’s so bad ... read more
- chebae asks: I’m 18 years old. I had a crush for 5 years and it ended when I get to know his true self (he was just a pervert) when I was 16. And I really had a hard time trying to forget him. I cried and cried, and at last got over him and was happy and busy enjoying with my friends and with my studies. After two years I met another guy at a party and I really wasn’t interested about him at all, but one day I saw his Instagram account and happened to follow it, and the next day he sent a message saying hi. At first I was a bit confused about why he wanted to say hi and asked my friends whether to reply to him or not, and they said just say hi and see, so I replied and he was such a nice guy. Soon we became good good friends and there wasn’t a day that we didn’t text. And one day to my surprise he said that he loves me, and that he feels like he can’t be without me, and said it was love at first sight. And that while he was thinking of a way to contact me, I followed him. At first I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I was afraid to love again, I was afraid of the pain I had to go through last time and didn’t want that to happen ever again. I’d told him about that crush already so he knew all of this, so I said to him that I’m afraid. I explained to him that when I fall in love it’s really hard for me to get through it. But he said he’s willing to wait until I open up for him, and after some time I really fell in love with him. I was just head over heels for him – but we’ve never met since that party. But suddenly, I don’t know what to say. We started to fight for many reasons and he even started lying to me. Every time we fight I am the one who has to call him and make up again, and sometimes he doesn’t even apologize for his faults. I bared all the things for the sake of our love and I wanted this to last long. But now he even tells me that I am a pain for him. I asked whether he still likes me or wants to leave me, and he said he wants to stop this. I was so in pain, and I ended up crying every night secretly. When I tried to talk to him about this, he was just mad at me and told me to concentrate on my exam (which is 2 months away). He said he is pushing me away because of it, but I don’t feel like that’s the reason. Because even when I give him a call once a while he just keeps shouting and telling me that I am such a pain for him. And he keeps lying to me, giving so many reasons as to why he can’t contact me. I tried to meet him for weeks but he kept avoiding it. I called him many times at night but he didn’t even answer my calls – and he was sleeping every night comfortably while I was crying until late at night. I don’t know how we ended up like this! This time I’m in much more pain than the last time. Last time it was just a crush but this time it’s a relationship. I love him, I want him, but I don’t know what to do. I tried to talk with him about this many times, but he doesn’t respond to me. What can do now?! I am just broken and really sad.Hi chebae – Your story reminds me of when I spent five days in the dog pound. Every hour or so, someone would come by my cage and look in, and I’d get thrilled – I’m getting out of here, my life is being saved, I’m going to be loved ... read more
- Sneha asks: I love my boyfriend, and have been struggling with his family not wanting me, because I’m of a different caste. Now I learn that his mother is scared of his father – she was talking to me on the phone and suddenly said “his father is coming, I can’t talk to you now!” But yes she is talking to me nicely, even more than her own son she talks to me lots as she makes cakes! She loves to talk (she has a cake shop), and she loves that I give her some good tips to promote the business. But she told me today she had talked to his father, and he said he is searching girls for my boyfriend, that he will never accept me because their community will boycott them, “And one other thing, I don’t find anything good in that girl!” What should I do?Hi Sneha – I am heartbroken over this! EVERYONE is on your side except this one man, and I don’t want him to win – especially with his dumb line about “I don’t find anything good in that girl.” Well Mister, I don’t find anything BUT good in her, and ... read more
- Yara asks: I have been dating a guy for almost 8 months. I was a student in London and at a part time job when we got to know each other. Some of the people who worked with me claimed that he mentioned that his intentions with me were to get me pregnant and claim visa in the UK. I was shell-shocked. I moved away and slowly we stopped talking. Then once during my night shift as I was leaving from work I got mugged. He rang me when he learned this and we cleared the air on these rumors, since he claimed that he’d never intended to stay in London after his divorce but he wanted head back to his home country. Since then he has been of great help and company to me. As time passed, he went back to his home country, I went back to mine, and we started having a long distance relationship. My question is, I really like this guy but I am not sure if he is with me because he sees me as an easy ticket to a better destination since I am planning to migrate and he knows that. Is that why he is with me? I feel a bit confused and guilty for thinking this, but don’t know how to stop.Hi Yara – What concerns me the most here isn’t exactly the question about your immigration status, or even whether this man wants to get you pregnant, but rather that you have a relationship with so little trust in it. I get lots of letters from people who worry that ... read more
- him5322 asks: I love a girl and she loves me back truly, but when we first met she shared about her past relationship and her physical relationship with her ex. For some days I had no problem with this. But now I can’t even sleep well thinking about her past relationship and what she did with her ex. I haven’t broken up with her because I don’t want to break her heart. But if I decide to live with her in the future, even then I’ll not be happy with her because of her past relationship. What do I do to get rid of this serious matter? Give me a solution that helps.Hi him5322 – I respect your honesty, admitting that her earlier relationship bothers you. I hope you’re able to tell her your feelings about it. And it makes sense – you want a committed relationship with her, and the fact that she was intimate with another guy before you feels ... read more
- Nsom asks: I love this girl from the past 2 years. And I know she feels the same because she has told me multiple times. But she wants some time to get into a relationship. But she always moves away and I don’t get the same attention from her until I try and spend as much time as possible, even with me busy with my hectic work schedule. I feel insecure now. How can I get her to give the same attention back to me once again? Or what can I do to improve the relationship I have with her?Hi Nsom – So if I understand this right, she’s saying that she loves you, but she wants to move slowly in your relationship, and she insists on your full attention before she’ll spend time with you. I think maybe she’s kind of perfect! No one really likes getting half ... read more