“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
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- aarya asks: I’m a female in a relationship. Now I have a past – my ex used to abuse me if I ever committed a mistake. My present boyfriend and I have dated 10 months, and now since i study abroad we are in a long distance relationship. He has issues with a male friend of mine. This guy was my good friend, but since my boyfriend did not like him I stopped talking to him. But here I have no friends. Last month that friend of mine said sorry, and asked me to a movie with a female friend to join us. I was alone there, and my guy has no time for me. I had no friends and so if anyone and asked to be my friend, without a second thought I’d said yes. So when my boyfriend came to know, he humiliated me. I begged his forgiveness, but he said such wrong things. This was a month ago. Till yesterday he did not say a word to me, but yesterday he again started to curse me for lying. I know I made a mistake, but this is not the way. I don’t know how to handle this. It is affecting my studies. Please help. I’m tired of handling it all alone.Hi aarya – I know it’s spelled differently, but I find it interesting that I’ve been writing often lately about my friend Aria, a wonderful dog whose life is good now, but who has such trouble trusting and judging correctly, because of all the abuse she’s suffered in her past. ... read more
- Snowball18 asks: My boyfriend just lost his sister 2 months back, and his grandfather is in a serious condition. Right now he just found out he failed his last semester exams, and today, his birthday, he gets to know his parents are probably getting divorced because his mother is still in shock over her daughter’s death and is not behaving normally. He even had suicidal thoughts a day back. I want to support him as much as I can but my parents don’t want me to see him, thinking I am still small (I am 18) and we are in a long distance. I can’t figure out how to help him but I just want him to know I am there for him.Hi Snowball18 – Wow that’s just awful! The poor guy – this is TOO MUCH! This is as tough as his life will probably ever get – all these hurts and losses and disasters at once. And so yes, I think you’re right that he needs your help. But I ... read more
- polarbear asks: She was in my school and I had a major crush on her, but I could never even speak to her later after school. She went to a different college from me, but after some time I met her on a bus, and she smiled and said hi. I too smiled and wished her hello, and left since I was in hurry. I then searched her on Instagram and started chatting with her. She replied. So what should I do now? Should I ask her out on a date and tell about the crush?Hi polarbear – WOW what a great story! It sounds like it should be a song! Now I’d have to know a lot more about her to be able to give you definite advice on what to do or when, but the one thing that’s VERY clear is that she ... read more
- Nemo asks: My boyfriend drinks a lot, and he gets all angry at me after that, and now he has blocked me. He doesn’t give anyone a second chance. I literally wasn’t at any fault this time now. I wanna talk to him, I wanna get back together with him, and I am ready to apologize – but how do I when he’s not ready to listen?Hi Nemo – So I get questions like this a lot, especially recently. Now I’m going to turn it around onto you. Imagine I wrote you, and said “I have a human who gets drunk and beats me with his belt. I can’t trust him, and sometimes it’s so bad ... read more
- chebae asks: I’m 18 years old. I had a crush for 5 years and it ended when I get to know his true self (he was just a pervert) when I was 16. And I really had a hard time trying to forget him. I cried and cried, and at last got over him and was happy and busy enjoying with my friends and with my studies. After two years I met another guy at a party and I really wasn’t interested about him at all, but one day I saw his Instagram account and happened to follow it, and the next day he sent a message saying hi. At first I was a bit confused about why he wanted to say hi and asked my friends whether to reply to him or not, and they said just say hi and see, so I replied and he was such a nice guy. Soon we became good good friends and there wasn’t a day that we didn’t text. And one day to my surprise he said that he loves me, and that he feels like he can’t be without me, and said it was love at first sight. And that while he was thinking of a way to contact me, I followed him. At first I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I was afraid to love again, I was afraid of the pain I had to go through last time and didn’t want that to happen ever again. I’d told him about that crush already so he knew all of this, so I said to him that I’m afraid. I explained to him that when I fall in love it’s really hard for me to get through it. But he said he’s willing to wait until I open up for him, and after some time I really fell in love with him. I was just head over heels for him – but we’ve never met since that party. But suddenly, I don’t know what to say. We started to fight for many reasons and he even started lying to me. Every time we fight I am the one who has to call him and make up again, and sometimes he doesn’t even apologize for his faults. I bared all the things for the sake of our love and I wanted this to last long. But now he even tells me that I am a pain for him. I asked whether he still likes me or wants to leave me, and he said he wants to stop this. I was so in pain, and I ended up crying every night secretly. When I tried to talk to him about this, he was just mad at me and told me to concentrate on my exam (which is 2 months away). He said he is pushing me away because of it, but I don’t feel like that’s the reason. Because even when I give him a call once a while he just keeps shouting and telling me that I am such a pain for him. And he keeps lying to me, giving so many reasons as to why he can’t contact me. I tried to meet him for weeks but he kept avoiding it. I called him many times at night but he didn’t even answer my calls – and he was sleeping every night comfortably while I was crying until late at night. I don’t know how we ended up like this! This time I’m in much more pain than the last time. Last time it was just a crush but this time it’s a relationship. I love him, I want him, but I don’t know what to do. I tried to talk with him about this many times, but he doesn’t respond to me. What can do now?! I am just broken and really sad.Hi chebae – Your story reminds me of when I spent five days in the dog pound. Every hour or so, someone would come by my cage and look in, and I’d get thrilled – I’m getting out of here, my life is being saved, I’m going to be loved ... read more
- Sneha asks: I love my boyfriend, and have been struggling with his family not wanting me, because I’m of a different caste. Now I learn that his mother is scared of his father – she was talking to me on the phone and suddenly said “his father is coming, I can’t talk to you now!” But yes she is talking to me nicely, even more than her own son she talks to me lots as she makes cakes! She loves to talk (she has a cake shop), and she loves that I give her some good tips to promote the business. But she told me today she had talked to his father, and he said he is searching girls for my boyfriend, that he will never accept me because their community will boycott them, “And one other thing, I don’t find anything good in that girl!” What should I do?Hi Sneha – I am heartbroken over this! EVERYONE is on your side except this one man, and I don’t want him to win – especially with his dumb line about “I don’t find anything good in that girl.” Well Mister, I don’t find anything BUT good in her, and ... read more
- Yara asks: I have been dating a guy for almost 8 months. I was a student in London and at a part time job when we got to know each other. Some of the people who worked with me claimed that he mentioned that his intentions with me were to get me pregnant and claim visa in the UK. I was shell-shocked. I moved away and slowly we stopped talking. Then once during my night shift as I was leaving from work I got mugged. He rang me when he learned this and we cleared the air on these rumors, since he claimed that he’d never intended to stay in London after his divorce but he wanted head back to his home country. Since then he has been of great help and company to me. As time passed, he went back to his home country, I went back to mine, and we started having a long distance relationship. My question is, I really like this guy but I am not sure if he is with me because he sees me as an easy ticket to a better destination since I am planning to migrate and he knows that. Is that why he is with me? I feel a bit confused and guilty for thinking this, but don’t know how to stop.Hi Yara – What concerns me the most here isn’t exactly the question about your immigration status, or even whether this man wants to get you pregnant, but rather that you have a relationship with so little trust in it. I get lots of letters from people who worry that ... read more
- him5322 asks: I love a girl and she loves me back truly, but when we first met she shared about her past relationship and her physical relationship with her ex. For some days I had no problem with this. But now I can’t even sleep well thinking about her past relationship and what she did with her ex. I haven’t broken up with her because I don’t want to break her heart. But if I decide to live with her in the future, even then I’ll not be happy with her because of her past relationship. What do I do to get rid of this serious matter? Give me a solution that helps.Hi him5322 – I respect your honesty, admitting that her earlier relationship bothers you. I hope you’re able to tell her your feelings about it. And it makes sense – you want a committed relationship with her, and the fact that she was intimate with another guy before you feels ... read more
- Nsom asks: I love this girl from the past 2 years. And I know she feels the same because she has told me multiple times. But she wants some time to get into a relationship. But she always moves away and I don’t get the same attention from her until I try and spend as much time as possible, even with me busy with my hectic work schedule. I feel insecure now. How can I get her to give the same attention back to me once again? Or what can I do to improve the relationship I have with her?Hi Nsom – So if I understand this right, she’s saying that she loves you, but she wants to move slowly in your relationship, and she insists on your full attention before she’ll spend time with you. I think maybe she’s kind of perfect! No one really likes getting half ... read more
- Zynella asks: I’m in this relationship and don’t know whether to leave or try more. I feel I don’t get the total care and attention I need. He acts really insecure all the time. Really weird whenever he sees me relating with other male folks. He says he loves me but I really doubt that sometimes. He wants us to remain low-key for now and not trumpet the relationship, and I don’t feel comfortable about that. He’s not introduced me to anyone close to him yet though we’re just a year and some months. He doesn’t like calling, only prefers to chat, and I’m just the other way round. He can be really possessive and authoritative sometimes. He got his heart broken by a lady who left him for someone else and he feels I’m also going to do same whenever I say I’m tired. And what I’m tired of is his behaviors, sometimes to the point of not loving him. I find it difficult to get emotionally attached to people and when I do is always hard to let go. Now I’m on a crossroads of letting go or still hanging on a little more – I don’t know. I still love him very much but this is torture. He’s not violent in anyway and can be very romantic sometimes. Please what do I do?Hi Zynella – You bring up a lot of issues, and each is worth discussing, but I’m mostly struck by one feeling as I read your letter. Which is that this is a guy who demands that everything be on his terms, 100% of the time. Now I know there ... read more
- Pallabi asks: I want to ask you about my relationship. Formerly we were good, but his family fixed his marriage to a girl. After one year he will be married to her, because he can’t go against his family. I love him. What should I do now?Hi Pallabi – I’m awfully sorry you’re in this tough position – a position I see a lot these days. The concept of Arranged Marriage works much better when both members don’t date other people beforehand, and a society based in dating works better when the young people get ... read more
- Tebby asks: I broke up with my boyfriend 4 days ago, and the same day he called me several times and I hung up all his calls. Now I’m missing him a lot, and since then he’s never called again or checked up on me. I don’t know what to do, because I get tempted to call him, but deeply I just feel that if I do, he’ll never realize his mistakes and come back to fix anything; instead he will just become worse and take advantage. At times I even ask myself if he does miss me too, but why doesn’t he call – or maybe he just doesn’t care? I’m scared to make the first contact, because I don’t know what I’m expecting from him after that breakup. What should I do – because I need his attention?Hi Tebby – One of the toughest parts of growing up – for us dogs as well as you humans – is mastering empathy. Sometimes we’re too ‘nice,’ and all we do is what someone else wants. And that’s no way to live. Then other times we’re so caught up ... read more
- snowball18 asks: My boyfriend lost his sister 5 months back, his grandfather is in a hospital, his mother is depressed, and his parents might be having a divorce. I tried to support him all I could but he is letting out all his anger and frustration on me. I tried to be calm and even said sorry for mistakes that were not mine. I was crying in front of him because he had downloaded Tinder, and he tried to console me saying he just wanted to see what it was about, but I couldn’t stop crying and he got angry and was about to leave, leaving me alone but came back and consoled me. He has been sending some pretty inappropriate posts to my friends, and when I asked about it, he said he was just casually flirting and I should trust him. I did, but today I couldn’t handle it and behaved a bit cold, told him I don’t want to talk, and he got angry and blocked me. His behaviour has been fluctuating a lot – he is all loving one minute, and I say something or disagree on something, and he gets angry and doesn’t talk with me, but just ignores me. I get it, he is in lots of problems, but how do I support him if he acts like this? What should I do?Hi snowball18 – I am so sorry you’re going through this. And I’m not surprised at all. It’s very normal for people – and dogs – to act really awful when we’re experiencing something completely nuts. In fact, I’d argue your boyfriend is actually going insane – in a way. ... read more
- A Prayer for Jessie – The Importance of ImportanceI hate it when Handsome’s out of town, even for just a day or two. But I do love it when he comes back – our reunions are fun even if he’s only been gone an hour, but if he’s been gone overnight, we explode! I sniff him all ... read more
- Rick asks: My wife has a male friend who she texts the same pictures she does me (not nude). They chat about how her day was, financial problems etc. She told me he had made a pass at her before we got married, but she says he’s not her type. Can she really see him as a friend or am I missing something?Hi Rick – Of course, I’m just a dog. I’m not psychic or a mind-reader, so I can’t tell you what’s going on in her (or her friend’s) brain. But from what you tell me, I can make a guess. First of all, I doubt she’s cheating on you. Cheaters ... read more