“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
From the Author:
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- The Diamond Rule … a key to healthy relationshipsIt really should be easy, shouldn’t it? If I see another dog I think looks fun, I go up and sniff them, and if they smell right and are nice to me, we play. One of us might get tired more quickly than the other, or not like to ... read more
- Reena asks: It’s been more than nine years now that my single mother is an alcoholic. I won’t bore you with the details because even I am genuinely fed up and bored. Pastors, priests, counseling, therapy, lectures, elderly wise ppl advice etc. Everything is tried and tested, nothing has worked. SHE DOESN’T WANT TO QUIT. I am not a manipulative person and don’t know how to handle the issue. Over the years she has ruined our Birthdays, feasts, all special occasions with her uncontrollable drinking. The problem is, she is not a bad person. When she is sober, she is the sweetest, nicest person you might have met. When my friends come home, they like her more than me. I have asked her repeatedly over the years, what she wants? But she won’t open up. Trust me Shirelle, if she wants to re marry, I’ll stand by her. Forget society, forget her brothers and sisters. I’ll stand by her. Maybe she’s lonely, I don’t know. I’ve tried to figure out but in vain. She is a hairstylist and a few months back lost her work stuff worth almost 25,000. Lost a watch I gifted her worth 10,000 and has lost so many phones that she could appear in the book of records. She couldn’t care less. In my society, I am the crazy one because of my yelling and crying and breakdowns. I have stopped all that now since it is only painting me badly. I am all of 27 and am being very honest in this email. I have no Life and though I don’t show it, my colleagues see through me. They know I have no Life. There are a lot of money problems going on in the house right now and I give my entire salary in the house and sit at home every weekend because I have no money to go out. I have lost a few friends because of this and guys who I could date. Believe it or not, I have dated just one guy so far, that too online relationship. He never came to meet in person. My cousin’s sister makes fun of me because she knows I never have money. I am trying to help her as much as I can but don’t know what else to do. Maybe lack of money is the reason for her drinking, I don’t know. I have never told this to anyone but I am confiding in you in this email. I am even contemplating never getting married so I can help her financially till the end. She is a single mother and my father never provided any alimony. I know Life has been hard for her. And all I can do is help her. But I really don’t know what else I can do. She is very immature and I am tired of playing her mother. I genuinely don’t want to. I want to live like other normal single girls my age, who live and enjoy their lives. Please advise ??Hi Reena – Oh my dear, I have so much to say in response to you, it’s hard to know where to start. But maybe it’s best with the physical. I don’t know about birds, fish, or insects, but it does seem that all us mammals have brains ... read more
- minecraft asks: I am nearly 10 years old. I don’t know who else to tell this, because it’s really embarrassing. I have a lot of accidents; I some times dirty my pants and I still wet the bed at night. I do not know why I keep having accidents in the day. I get really embarrassed and sad, because my brothers and other kids make fun of me for it. I have six brothers and two sisters; I am the fourth oldest. My mum sometimes gets mad at me and she some times says things like she is going to put a nappy on me like my two-year-old brother (She only gets mad when I have accidents in the day, not about me wetting my bed). My mum took me to the doctor about why I have accidents in the day, and the doctor said I’m fine and there is nothing wrong. My mum said if I have one more accident she is going to put me a nappy on me, because she can’t keep buying me underwear and washing my clothes, and she says it will be a lot better for me because I will be more comfortable and I will sleep better. I don’t want to wear nappies because nappies are for babies. How do I get my mum not to put me in nappies?Hi minecraft – It’s very humiliating, I know, to have this problem, and I really respect you for having the courage to reach out and ask about it. I was lucky in this area. I was able to get paper-trained and house-trained very quickly. After that, there were a couple of times ... read more
- FORLLAH asks: Is it really right for me to date my friend’s ex-boyfriend?Hi FORLLAH – This is always difficult. It’s difficult when children become friends with kids their friends don’t like anymore, it’s difficult when adults divorce and make their friends (or, worst of all, their children) choose between them, and yes, it’s hard when you’re dating and you’re interested in ... read more
- Reena asks: I met a guy around a year back on a dating site. I had just broken up back then and so registered on that site to divert my mind. All this while we used to chat online sometimes, he was like a platonic friend. He asked a few times to meet but I always declined for various reasons. Mostly because we have nothing in common and I felt no connection or chemistry. Also because there was this on again off again thing going on with my ex, so we had not completely separated despite the break up. My question is, Is meeting this new guy worth it ? Because back then when I had broken up, he had asked to meet. I told him I am dating someone. To which he replied, “Don’t tell your boyfriend that you’re coming to meet me.” I told him I’m sorry and I can’t do that. Secondly, instead of asking to hangout and just chill or a lunch or dinner together or a movie, this new guy asks me to come home. Mind you, we’ve never met before. I asked him why he wants me to come home. He said he “wants to cuddle”. I mean, sounds like a guy looking for a Friends with Benefits and not the whole getting to know you and let’s see where it goes thing. I asked advice from a guy friend yesterday about this because I am confused these past days, whether I should give it a chance or no. My friend advised me to test him by asking him to meet outside rather than at home. So I asked this online guy if we could meet out first. I was 110 % sure he’d say no. But he said yes. I don’t want to be mean because I do believe in giving people at least one chance. But he has already shown me who he is. Doesn’t sound like a guy who believes in loyalty or someone looking for something genuine. However I don’t want to be too judgmental about it or assume anything. What should I do ?? Go meet him once or simply delete his number??Hi Reena – Okay, so you’re dealing with two issues here. One is how to treat this guy – does he deserve to be treated one way or another. And the other is how to treat yourself. And I care way more about the second than the first, ... read more
- Wooff Asks: Recently, my life has been going very smooth. My anxiety is pretty much gone but then again, there are days when I feel like I have difficulty communicating with others and I have difficulty breathing. But those days are rare now. My question isn’t really just a question. It’s something maybe you can’t even help me out on. What is the purpose of this life? You can tell me that it’s to be kind, to be granted a space in heaven. But what is it all for? I try not to think of the future much because staying in the present is better. But I wonder, what is the end goal? And why can’t I just have stayed 10? Like, I really miss the times I spent back when I was a kid. When I didn’t have to think if there was any purpose to life or what I’m doing here. To just wake up, watch cartoons and have breakfast. I didn’t have to think that I needed exercise because I loved myself the way I was. When I didn’t have to will myself to take a morning stroll. I understand death, I understand why we have to die but I don’t understand why we live? Why is life ever changing and why are we? In my recent course of life, I’m trying to be more humble. Whenever I have a fight with anyone, I try to apologize. Despite it being my fault or not. And I try not to see any fault anymore and I like it. To be honest, I like my life but I don’t know why I’m living it. Do you understand?Hi Wooff! Your question can be answered in two different ways. One of them is in an area where I’m a complete expert, and the other is an area where I can’t even pretend to have any knowledge at all. I’ll start with the second. Over time, most ... read more
- Snowman asks: So me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years. About 1 year in I met one of her family friends and the first thing he does is insult me by saying he wouldn’t talk to anyone less intelligent than him and ignores me from there. He did this directly in front of my girlfriend and she didn’t react at all to it. So I let it slide and after he left I confronted her about it. She apologized and understood that I didn’t like him at all. So several months pass and I’ve pretty much never talked to him. When my birthday comes, due to a serious of unlucky events, my girlfriend has to leave for a bit and I’m forced to wait for this man and guide him to her. It naturally ruined my day. So afterwards I tell my girlfriend that I want to skip dinner and just lay down but we end up going to dinner anyways. We ultimately got into a small argument and she tried to break up with me a few days later. Ps this was at a time where we could barely see each other. It’s been on my conscience for a while now because I felt bad for being in a bad mood that day. Was my reaction unreasonable?Hi Snowman – I can’t really answer your question as it is. You see, you’ve told me lots of reasons for you to be annoyed (ANYBODY would be, having to deal with that jerk!), but you didn’t really tell me what your reaction was. Except that you two had ... read more
- Reena asks: Do men like women with a baby face? If yes, why?Hi Reena – One great thing about human attraction is that different people are attracted to different sorts. Modern media has hurt this in some ways – people who would naturally be attracted to one sort of person are conditioned to different sorts – but overall, what they call ... read more
- Ducky asks– Hello! So I seem to be having trouble in my relationship. We have been together for 13 months and became engaged 6 months in. I told her I wasn’t ready to be engaged, as I have been married before and I’m not ready for it yet. But she got mad at me and I gave in and said she could propose. Then she wanted a baby and I told her I wasn’t ready. I feel like I’m holding her back from her life. We also argue about a lot because she says a lot of things she regrets saying and when alcohol is involved (which isn’t too often) it gets worse. She goes through my phone because she doesn’t trust who I talk to, and I have trouble letting go of the arguments we have. Which has led to resentment, lack of sexual desire, and me being a robot. I’m also having trouble being attracted to her because I’m used to being with men. We called off our engagement privately because she knew I didn’t want it yet. She is very upset about going backwards. We are now on a break because she’s tired of being with a wall, she wants me to let go of my past and be ready for a future with her and figure out my sexual desires so we can either make this work or end it before it gets too far. I’m so lost. I love her so much, I just feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. How do I figure this all out?Hi Ducky – There’s so much in this question – way too much for one dog to be able to answer all at once (or probably even a brilliant couples therapist!). I’ll start by saying that I’m glad you two chose to put a break in your engagement, as ... read more
- lovergirl asks: Is it wrong to date a 20-year-old guy while you are 14?Hi lovergirl – I have many thoughts on this, but lots of them depend on defining the words you used. For example, when you say “date,” do you mean “hang out with?” If so, then there’s probably no problem with it. But if you mean “get romantically ... read more
- alizey asks: I am in long distance relationship and I don’t know how to make it work without becoming an emotional fool?Hi alley – Okay, I’ll be honest with you – to me a long-distance relationship sounds like pure misery! When my human friend Handsome leaves town, I’m a wreck. Even if I’m staying with good friends, or at a place with other dogs, those delights only serve as distractions. I’m ... read more
- azraspahic_ asks – So it’s 2 weeks before April Fools, and I decided to do a harmless prank on my friend of slipping notes in her locker. But she told the principal and then told me. I don’t want to get suspended over a harmless joke! What do I do? I have not told her I was the one who slipped the notes. I printed one out as well and said, “oh see this is the one I got” and she believed it! What should I do?Hi azraspahic_ – Ooooh do I relate to this! My pranks are usually more along the lines of stealing food off a person’s plate, but I know how awful it can feel to get caught, especially when the punishment seems like it’s so much bigger than the little joke you ... read more
- Reena asks: You know how it is to be a working woman. I am very dedicated to my work. My Bosses are very happy with my work. However, it has definitely harboured some kind of envy and jealousy among other team members in the team. Now I am quite a target and I’ve noticed, people do keep an eye on me. But there’s this one guy at work I’m genuinely fed up with and don’t know how to deal with it. I am a very simple person Shirelle. I come, work, make money and go home. I have very few friends at work and am very happy with them. But there’s this one twisted colleague at work who believes that all the success am achieving is through deceptive means. He has his own perception about me. Basically he has just assumed a lot. I am fed up with his indirect taunts and comments like, “Show me the Real You”. “Remove the mask when talking to me”. “I don’t get scared of anyone”. “She is fake”. The last time an email was sent to me and he started enquiring about that email which was obviously none of his business. I yelled at him because I had taken enough from him. I told him to stay out of my business. I have already sent an email to my Manager but no use. His behavior has worsened. I changed my place and now sit somewhere else and yesterday he came and sat in front of me. All my life I have felt vulnerable because I didn’t have a father growing up (my parents separated) and now I feel very vulnerable at work too.. Please advise.Hi Reena – Well, I can’t quite answer yes to that first statement of yours. I mean, I’m not a working woman – I’m just a dog with a hobby I adore! – but I’ve sure heard a lot about the problems working women go through, including harassment of ... read more
- Violet asks: I am a 12 year old boy. Is it normal I like to wear girl clothes? I like to wear girl things but I don’t know why. I wear my sister’s clothes. My sister is 8 years old. I wear her dresses and her underwear. No one knows I wear them but I feel bad about it. I sometimes wish I was a girl.Hi Violet – I’m glad you wrote me, because I have a very different take on this than most humans. You see, Violet, as a dog, I don’t care about anything in terms of the roles of boys and girls. For example, most female dogs squat whenever ... read more
- Johan-dad asks: Hello. I’m married, 2nd marriage, to a beautiful lady I’ll call C. She’s got just as beautiful little girl, M. I’ve been in C and M’s life for the past 3 1/2 years and we’ve been married now for just over 1 year. M, my stepdaughter that I love like my own, is 5 years old. C and M have this love-hate relationship, and I’m saying that because one minute they can love each other to bits and the next they scream and shout at each other like hateful teenagers. My question is not that simple, but I’m going to try and break it down to simplify. M sleeps in our bed as she refuses to sleep in her bed. Mom is saying that she doesn’t want to fight at night getting M to bed so she rather give M what she wants to keep the peace. However, when it’s long past sleeping time, M is still awake and mom is then fighting and screaming at M to sleep. I feel that the fighting and screaming at night is worse than telling the child to go to bed and letting her cry in her bed until she falls asleep, because she will learn to after a while. Unfortunately this is not an option and I’ve been told that I should stay out of their fights and mind my own business. If I do make mention of the fact that I feel it is wrong, then mom goes and sleeps in M’s bed and returns to ours during the night, and the next day all I hear is how bad it is sleeping in M’s bed. Now this is just one example and there is a lot more, but I would like to know what is my right as a step-parent and how do I deal with this. If my wife is unable to discipline, and I’m not talking about giving hidings or verbally abusing the child, how do I intervene and what is my responsibility? I feel that our, my wife and I, relationship is taking a big knock because of the fact that mom either fights with the child like she is her enemy or she gives the child her way to avoid a fight and I am sitting on the sideline seeing how they destroy each other and I can not do anything about it. My wife has even mentioned it that she considered to kill herself because she can’t handle M and life, but still she doesn’t want to allow me in that circle to help her. I don’t know what part of parenting is “allowed” from a stepparent’s perspective, and what should I do as a husband to get my wife to understand that I am not the enemy but can assist her if she allows me. I always try to be calm and not get involved too much, but sometimes I’ll come in the crossfire unwillingly. Please help me to understand my role where two people I love are falling into this pit and it feels like my hands are cut off.Hi Johan-dad – There are those who will tell you that you’re in a very common position for a step-parent. But I’ll tell you, you’re in an even more common place for a DOG! This is exactly the position we find ourselves in all the time – we ... read more