“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
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- Arjai101 asks: It’s cold. It’s dark. It’s depressing as hell. I’ve just been really stressed lately with school. I don’t really like my mom’s boyfriend, which is really causing a huge rift with my mom and I. It’s like we’re perpetually at war or something. Or maybe, I’m just a terrible person because I probably just have a weird obsession with hurting people. I feel this immense pressure in general with work. I’ve got to start chipping in a bit with bills, nothing crazy, I just have to cut some of my spending habits, for a while. I mean, I’m fine I guess. Maybe it’s just that time of year, but I kind of just want to be in a relationship, or just to have someone genuinely there for me, romantic or not. I know it’s idealistic of me. But right now, all I need is someone who doesn’t mind if I go off the radar for a while when I’m busy, who’s available to hang out weekends, just blow off steam and stress with, and someone who doesn’t put me on some pedestal. Lately, I feel like everyone thinks I’m some super genius who can save the world or something, just because of some random accolades, that I guess are impressive and the fact that I’m 16 and go to university. It’s just this massive weight on my shoulders to keep it up, to somehow keep topping yourself. I really need someone who just sees me as a human being, not a list of accolades because I will never be able to always live up to that. I have my moments sure, but most of the time I’m overwhelmingly mediocre. I guess I’m just rambling off. But, I really need a friend or something. Someone I just really click with, who’s just available, when I am, and there aren’t complications and other stupid things, or mind games. I feel like a lot of my friends are either not actually my friends, or I just don’t have a great time with them because our personalities don’t mesh well. Anyhow, how do you even meet people? Like, I’m out in public and think maybe I should talk to this stranger. But, is that actually a wise thing to do? Or, where is it even okay to talk to strangers? And then, I’m just surrounded by people who are just older than me. And then, what do I even want from people? Have I actually been the diabolical crazy one the whole time? Just overthinking and coldly calculating things, and then going off the rails when things don’t go my way? Am I really the reason, that at the end of the day I still feel so lonely? Like maybe I’ve tried so hard to build this person, that no one even wants to go near it. Maybe, I need to take more risks. I feel like I make huge risks all of the time. But maybe not the right ones, maybe not the social ones. Maybe I should just do what I feel and forget the consequences. But then you have to look at the consequences every single day. I honestly just don’t want to take responsibility for anything. Like, what if I just approached that one person? But then, you will never truly know what they’re thinking, and then people talk, and things go wrong. At this point, I think I’m writing to you just to be writing about it. Like, I just feel like I don’t understand anything. And, I just feel so much right now. And, I’m so confused. And, I want so much. But unlike with school, I have no idea how to even go for it. I don’t think I really am all that good when reading people, especially when it pertains to me. I mean with other people, it’s easy as pie. But when it comes to me, I just don’t know what to think. The stakes just seem ridiculous. I don’t know. I don’t know. I literally just don’t know anything. And, I guess I’ll just leave it at that because I could go on forever and think myself into deeper holes.Hi Arjai101 – My dear friend (and yes I consider you a friend), there’s no way in the world you could have gone to college as young as you did and not find yourself in this exact situation. Let’s say it simply – life is hard at age 16 ... read more
- Pennelope0214 asks: Hi so I have this guy who is really cute and perfect. I am not sure if he likes me too or not. There have been times when he has shown his care and gets upset when I do something wrong. Like today, I abused a guy and this guy got kinda upset and stopped talking to me. I tried too hard and apologized. After a lot of effort he finally accepted it. When we go for walk he wraps his arms around mine but leaves when someone comes. We always have lunch, dinner, breakfast altogether. Today when he was angry he didn’t even take his dinner. I don’t know what is on his mind, which I’d really like to know.Hi Pennelope0214 – So of course, I don’t know anything more than what you’ve told me, but I’ll say this – based on what I know, I like him too! I like that he got upset when you were mean to that other guy (It shows character, like ... read more
- AudreyKimberly146 asks: I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I’ve got a crush in the past, and now I’m interested in someone else. But that’s just my ‘official’ status. I’ve actually liked a few guys in the past, yet I only ‘acknowledge’ one as my actual crush. So my explanation may be weird, but please try your best to understand XD My ‘system’ of crush is a bit of an odd one. When you play an online game, where you have to build a tower–as high as you can–you gotta start small am I right? Then it’s going to continue building until you mess up. But well, sometimes, new players who starts later than you, can rival you in terms of height, or even surpass you, right? Well, here’s the thing, my system is like that. First, I start liking someone (in the comparison to the tower game, this is when you start the game). I may not acknowledge him as my ‘crush’, but I acknowledge him as an ‘interesting person’. As it grows taller and taller, I eventually label this person as my ‘crush’. BUT. At the same time, another interest may start building as well! It’s not as tall as my crush, but I’m interested in him as well. But the ‘building process’ I am ‘supervising’ right now, isn’t my new interest. It’s my crush! So I won’t care about him. In some possible (rare) cases, he might catch up and I will have 2 crushes at the same time, but it only happened to me once and it dissolved quickly :/ Once I found out I liked 3 (*ehem* yes, three,,) boys at the same time, I pressed myself to pick just one. And I did. The other two ‘buildings’ just crumbled down. Well, continuing my story, the new guy may not be my ‘crush’ but I can’t deny I’m interested. But then, at one point, either it’s because of how the pressure of a taller building ‘kills’, I will lose my interest in that new guy. So that’s when he crumbled. But it can also be that the new guy’s building speed was so fast, it surpassed my crush’s height in no time! (Like my case this time.) And so, the crown ‘crush’ is taken by the new guy, and the status of my ‘old crush’ is ‘I moved on’ XD I like to consider this as me being faithful. I mean, geez, I WAS INTERESTED IN ANOTHER GUY YET I STAYED TRUE TO ONE XDXDXD But then, this can also mean that I’m just a cheap girl who falls in love easily. But again, this is just my crush XD I never actually date anyone XD And as much as I want you, Shirelle, to tell me “no! You are not cheap! You are faithful,” I decided to ask you to score me honestly. Maybe I’m in the middle? Maybe both characteristics are co-dominant? Please tell me! Thanks XDHi AudreyKimberly146 – Okay, so you know how most dogs aren’t capable of mental capacities much beyond “Sit,” “Stay,” and “Heel,” right? And I’m pretty proud of how clever I am. But you’re asking a LOT here – WOW! Handsome tells me you’re using metaphor and simile and all these ... read more
- Prettyandsweet12 asks: For the longest time I’ve wanted to move back to a particular part of the country to be with my cousins. I recently graduated high school and moved there with my mom. At first I was having a hard time because I had no friends here, but I figured it would get better once I got settled in. But I’ve been here for 5 months now and things just stink! I currently take classes online and I occasionally see my family in a nearby state over the weekend, but recently some things have happened and I’m starting to question if moving here was the right thing. My cousins barely come around, and my dad is now married and I don’t even know who he is anymore. I just turned 18 and I had a party at a hotel with my two cousins and she tried to give us alcohol. I didn’t have any but my cousins did, and I don’t know if you remembered but you gave me advice a long time ago on how to deal with my medical condition called myoclonis dystonia, which I still have and am on medicine for, and my dad knows this, but he was still willing to let her give me alcohol; that crushed me, and I feel like he chose her over me because he always lets her run over him. I recently got in touch with my high school crush, who is two years younger than me, so he’s a sophomore in high school (I’m supposed to be a senior in high school but I skipped a grade). He really wants to be able to see me and I want the same; I feel like I need him now more than ever, but I’m faced with a complicated choice: do I leave my mom and find living arrangements where he lives so we can see each other, or do I stay with my mom and put on a happy face like I’ve been doing?Hi prettyandsweet12 – I need to confess, I’m more confused than you are, so I’m not sure how much good I can do here! First, one question – when you say “she tried to give us alcohol,” I’m going to guess that that’s your dad’s new wife, but am ... read more
- raina1226 asks: My bf and I have been in a relationship for one month. I did a loyalty test on him: I asked my friend to flirt with him on a phone call. So she started the conversation; he also flirted with her and asked her for double-dating, friends with benefits. I heard everything and I decided to break up with him. Now he is asking for another chance, but he is not accepting that he was flirting. Now what should I do? I really want a serious kind of relationship, as my past is not very good. Please help me out.Hi raina1226 – Okay, I’ve got to be honest here – I am a huge flirt! I love running up to strangers and jumping on them, I love getting male dogs to chase me in the dog park or on the beach, and more than anything I love ... read more
- Ahana asks: I am 19 and I got married 6 months ago. My husband is my father’s childhood friend’s son. He (my husband) has loved me since I was 15. Later when I turned 18 he, with his family, came to my place to propose marriage. I directly said no as I’d never liked him. Later he tried a lot to convince me but I never said yes. After few months he tried committing suicide because I rejected him. So I had no other option than saying yes. After that we had our engagement. I thought I would get married only when I turn 20-21 but he was not ready to wait, as he thought that I could change my mind and not marry him. Later I did so many attempts to postpone my marriage, but I failed and he forced me to get married this year. I had no other option. Just after our marriage he tried getting physical with me but I didn’t allow him, so he started complaining to his mom about it, and she would explain to me that we should allow our husbands to do everything they want to do with our body. That was just too embarrassing. Then at last I allowed him. My husband owns a bungalow so we shifted from my in-laws’ house to his bungalow after a couple of months from our marriage . And now he will not let me wear my clothes all day, and has sex with me for hours and hours. His main motive behind this is that he wants me to become pregnant fast so that I can never leave him. Now I really want help – I don’t know what to do.Hi Ahana – I have so many thoughts about this. First, where I live in the United States, we tend to have the opposite problem from arranged marriages – so many of our young people fall in love with the excitement of youth, get married and/or have babies, and ... read more
- RAMBO Asks: Christmas is here and Zambia. I don’t have presents to give to the kids. Tell me what can I do. Maybe you are able to help me make the kids happy, and other people here in Zambia.Hi RAMBO – I have to confess, I live half the world away from Zambia, and don’t know anything about where to shop or find toys and games there. But as a dog, I am an expert on finding ways to make people happy, without the ability ... read more
- Wooff asks: When I was in 7th grade, I had the choice of reading in two different school systems while staying in the same school. I chose the government school system instead of the international system. And to this day, I’m in 11th grade I kind of regret my decision. The international system was a bit expensive and it would obviously be a bit harder for my parents to pay so I chose the government system. But it wouldn’t be a lot. The international system encourages creativity, writing and reading. But the government system focuses on the country, facts and there’s no medium for being creative. And then there’s this social barrier between the students of these two systems. The students of the International system do have an upper hand over us and that’s why they act like they are somewhat better, and while I’m old enough to understand that they aren’t, it sometimes gets to me and I wish I would have just done what I wanted to. If you read my other letter first, you’ll understand what I’m getting at. There’s nothing I can do about this now but I have the opportunity to study in a country abroad if I can get a scholarship. My parents don’t want to send me so soon because I’ll be 20 when I leave but I feel like if I stay in this country, my opportunities lessen again and I don’t want that anymore. I’m tired of feeling less when I’m not. My parents are from a country where girls don’t usually go alone abroad unless you’re 24 or married and I’m wondering how I’m going to convince them if I do get a scholarship. I don’t know if you remember, Shirelle, but there was this boy, I really really liked and almost loved and let go. I regretted that as well but I never did anything about it and I wish I did because I can’t seem to be interested in anyone anymore. No one’s like him. I can’t find anyone. And it’s just a bit frustrating. And then there’s something I want to do but I don’t know if it’s right. Like I said, I come from a country where girls/ guys stay with their parents till they’re married. But I want to move to another country and live there all by myself. I understand that it’ll be difficult but I love my own company and this country feels so restricting. I don’t want to stay here. I don’t want to be married to some guy. While there’s no force for me to get married, I don’t really see marriage in my future. I just don’t. I wonder if my parents will understand. Will they understand if I leave them and move away on my own? Leaving them and all the things they are leaving behind for me. From, WooffHi Wooff – You know, my friend Handsome has been doing this thing for the last few years that’s gotten really annoying to me. He keeps thinking about how his life could have been different if he’d made other choices when he was younger, all this “if I ... read more
- arjai101 asks: Being at this technical university is incredibly lonely. I’m not truly a part of high school, but I’m also not truly in college either. It’s incredibly isolating. I go hours on end without talking to other people. The only time I talk to people is when I go to the rock climbing gym on campus once a week. I almost always meet people there and have a great time talking and climbing and all, but I never see those people again. I feel weird asking for their contact information as everyone is so much older than me, and I’m only 16. It feels like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be because these people are actual adults, which I sometimes forget. I’ve met only one other student like me on campus, and he’s in one of my classes. At first, we talked quite a bit. But after the first week, we stopped talking altogether; we don’t even really sit next to each other anymore. I think maybe he just talked to me because at the beginning of the class I seemed really smart or whatever because I answered like one really hard question. And, everyone was all impressed. Everyone was sort of initiating conversation with me then because they thought maybe I would give them an advantage. But after that all died down, no one pays me the time of the day. Even when I wave at them outside of class, it’s kind of an awkward thing. Also, the other dual-enrollment student is only part-time and I’m full-time, and he’s a year older than me, so I guess that’s a barrier. But, it wouldn’t kill to at least pretend like we know each other. Anyhow…I’m not offended by any of it at all. I just feel incredibly lonely and isolated, that’s all. All in all, I’m still happier at Georgia Tech than I ever was at my high school. It just has its cons. Maybe if I lived on campus, I’d feel more a part of everything. Trying to stay positive because I know I made the right decision leaving my high school. I’m just trying to figure out how to meet other people.Hi arjai101 – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I’m so impressed with your journey! Do you have any idea how many 16-year-olds would have been too frightened to try what you’re doing? So I’m in the tough place of, at the same time, ... read more
- zakia asks: We’ve been in a relationship two years, but in the last two months everything has changed. Before he used to show his feeling to me; he used to show how much important am in his life, and that attraction. But now he seems busy at work. We chat all day, but he just wants to know what am up to, what am doing, that’s all. He doesn’t let me go anywhere, or he’ll get angry. He doesn’t like me to talk to male friends or persons. That attraction is gone. That magical love is gone. I don’t know what to do.Hi zakia – I really have two responses to you, because I think there are two really different issues in your question. First, your relationship is losing its spark. This is very normal after a couple has been together for a while, and two years feels about ... read more
- Akasa asks: I like my physics teacher a lot but he is married and has 2 children what should I doHi Akasa – It’s funny, just today I also got a question from someone who is in love with a boy at her school, and knows he loves her too, but he has a girlfriend. So I had lots of advice about how to bide her time and be ... read more
- nanalicious asks: I met this guy 3 months ago, and I guess we just clicked. I like him a lot and he likes me too. The problem is he has a girlfriend. We have so much fun together, he is just too nice, but now I am scared of how I am feeling. I have fallen in love with him, so that whenever we are together and he is talking to his girlfriend it hurts me. I don’t know what to do with my feelings.Hi nanalicious – Ooooh this is a common problem! I certainly understand – I’d imagine every dog who ever sees me with Handsome must be incredibly jealous (though Handsome says “No, it’s every human who ever sees me with you who gets jealous, Shirelle!”). I really have two ... read more
- Wooff asks: As of recent times, I’ve been in a state of mind where I miss things from my past a lot. How they used to be 3 years ago, who I was friends with and maybe even the person I was. I don’t regret turning the way I did but back then I feel like life was somewhat easier. I didn’t have to study my butt off for anything. People liked me more and I didn’t have much worries. I don’t even know what I want to do when I’m older. I’m 18 right now and I have around 2-3 years to figure that out. But I’m going to have to select something to study in 2 years. And I have no clue. I was wondering, am I better off careless, clueless and happy or am I better off wiser, older and more understanding? I know you’re going to say that the latter is better but I feel like when I was more unaware of everything, I was somewhat happier. I used to have something to be excited or happy about but now it’s like I don’t know, I’m not unhappy but I’m never really that happy or excited. Things seemed more magical back then and despite the fact that I have so much more responsibilities now, I feel like I had more things to do when I was younger. Things I enjoyed even if they were just mere chores. I know at this point I’m rambling but I just need someone to walk me through this particular stage of being human. I know how I feel right now isn’t my final destination and that I need to feel like this for something better to form. But I just need some more insight as to what I should do or if I’m even supposed to feel all this that I’m feeling. I act like I don’t regret my decisions but if I’m being honest, I’ll tell you the truth. I wish I did make other choices back then. I wish I listened to myself and didn’t listen to myself. I miss my friends from back then but these friends are not the same people they once were and while we are in friendly terms, it’s not the same. I wish I never let go of that boy I liked back then. I wish I had someone to talk to right after I came back from school. Do you know anyway Shirelle I could get back that happiness and excitement in my life? Everything seems so bland now. And I never get excited. I used to talk to my crush and that meant so much to me and now I can’t even like someone. I just feel a bit lost but not lost, you know? If you have any idea what I’m talking about please let me know because I’m just so clueless. I’m not depressed, sad or anything.Hi Wooff – I always love your letters – they’re so beautifully written and expressive. And say things that are so right about life. But in this one, you got something wrong. Really wrong. SO wrong! You said you were sure that I’d say you’re better ... read more
- LittleGirlBigAppetite asks: I met a guy on Tinder 3 months ago and we have been dating for the past 2 months now. He is doing his Masters in Business Administration and stays 2 hours away from me in a hostel. During the first month we used to meet and go for lunch and movie dates. But the past month hasn’t been exciting at all. Whenever I ask him to meet up he says he cant due to his college schedule. Our relationship has now completely turned into a boring, virtual one. I even told him that this is bothering me and we should end it if this is how things are going to be but he said that he does not want to end things so soon. I like him a lot and it makes me wonder if he’s really into me or not. If yes, then why not spend at least one day in two weeks together? If no, then why not just end it? I am not asking for much, just the bare minimum as I understand that we both have busy college schedules. I really need your advice as to what to do next?Hi LittleGirlBigAppetite – This is an awfully common problem, and it’s always a painful one. And I do relate. When my human friend Handsome first brought me home from the pound, I was all he thought about. Making sure I was safe and warm, making sure I ... read more
- Deb asks: Sara and Alex are Aunt and nephew. Sara is 50 years old and Alex is 14. They are very close. One of the days they spent together Alex looked at his parents wedding album (29 years) and saw a picture of his Aunt Sara. Alex said to his Aunt Sara “You look thin.” This upset her because she thought Alex didn’t think she is thin now, because everyone always tells her (past and present) she is skinny, and wouldn’t that remark only be said to someone who isn’t thin in the present. Alex did tell her he was joking, then he said he was giving her a compliment and said he thought she was thin then and thin now. The day after she Instant Messaged her older nephew (21 years old, and who she also is very close to and the brother of the younger nephew). She told her older nephew the story, he related it to his mom (her sister) and the next day Sara spoke to her sister, who said “I asked Alex and all Alex was saying was you looked good in that picture, that Alex doesn’t compare what someone looked like in the past and compare it to the present. That Alex, his brother, me and their father all think of you as extremely skinny.” My question do you think Sara overreacted and read into what Alex said? Even Sara’s mother told Sara she thinks Sara is skinny.Hi Deb – Well of course I don’t know the people involved, and have no idea what Sara looked like 29 years ago or how she looks now. But I do know a bit about 14-year-old boys. And what I know about them is that they have ... read more