“A warm, engaging, deceptively simple tribute to innate wisdom. May we all learn from such loveable teachers.”
— Dennis Palumbo – screenwriter My Favorite Year, author the Daniel Rinaldi mysteries
“A beautiful, heartfelt, and entertaining book, that gives the reader a deep understanding of the profound relationship between the human psyche and the souls of the other animals with whom we share this planet.”
— Linda Buzzell, co-editor Ecotherapy – Healing with Nature in Mind
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- Mercy asks: I really need some relationship advice here. My boyfriend, a very sensitive, childish person who couldn’t use his brains once to think maturely, is getting on the very last of my nerves. You see, he is two years younger than I am. And we’ve been together for a year now. I just feel that I am not being heard at all. And I’m always wrong in an argument. I shouldn’t hang out with my best friends. God! So many restrictions. And he doesn’t trust me! It’s so frustrating! So I don’t wanna be in a relationship with him anymore. But the thing is, I am very emotional and I get sad just by the thought of what doom it might bring to him. So I’m just being miserable with no idea what to do. I desperately wanna get outta this relationship w/o much damage done. Really need some advice on how to do that.Hi Mercy – This is an ageless dilemma. Most humans hope to commit to just one person in their lifetime, which means they have to either get rejected by, or break up with, every other person they ever get involved with. Which is so tough, for both people, each ... read more
- Jen asks: I read a post of yours which included the disclosure that your human Handsome had been out on a few dates with a girl with a prosthetic leg. She kept quiet before letting him know. I recall you indicated he did not think it was a big deal because he had liked her from the first moment. But the question is, would he even have gone out on the first date if she had disclosed that fact before they physically met? Would he have welcomed her, or ask for subsequent dates? And overall, does omitting certain physical facts make connections possible?Hi Jen – Well I can’t speak for other guys, but Handsome was really clear about this to her and to me at the time – it didn’t bother him in the least; he’d have been very happy to go out with her, knowing about the leg. In fact, ... read more
- Cupcake11 asks: I’m having a problem again…I feel so helpless.. My brother is only 15 and he is completely detached from my family, I mean my mom and dad. He doesn’t talk to us properly, argues, and makes the other person cry. He gets angry very fast and then throws things here and there. I’m very worried for him because his only goal in life has become to hang out, or to own a bike or a car, or to be in power and bully, or to drive or to chill out with friends and friends who aren’t proper. His friends are all spoiled rich brats who drink, smoke, and bully people. And if someone messes up with them they use their power to torture them.. I feel my brother has a psychological issue. The way he reacts to things is very annoying and very scary at times.. He doesn’t listen to anyone. I went to have a heart to heart conversation with him and he got annoyed and started misbehaving. He doesn’t respect anyone older than him, and, God knows why, he thinks my parents love me more than him, when there’s nothing like that. Since he was kid he’s been stealing stuff and telling lies. My dad used to hit him, and probably that has made him so wild. He met with an accident twice but still he drives rashly. What can I do to get my brother to live a better life, and not a materialistic one?Hi Cupcake11 – Wow am I sorry! This sounds incredibly difficult – for you, for your parents, and yeah, for him too! My first thought as I began reading was “This is normal.” Most teens go through some sort of rebellious phase, and 15 is a very ... read more
- dark horse asks: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months, but recently he has been acting out. Last I brought up something to talk about and he gave me shouting. I asked him about his friend and he told me to **** off and in return I asked why he was being rude, and he said **** off again. So do you have any idea what causes a 23-year-old boy to act so bizarre?Hi dark horse – My simple answer to you is that I have no idea what caused your boyfriend to act this way. In fact, from what you tell me, there’s no way to find out. Which means something very simple: It’s something else. A few ... read more
- teen asks: I’m quite heavily tired. I’m clueless, I even wanted to attempt suicide and if I die within these days, you don’t have any idea how much happy and peaceful I would feel. But I don’t know now what can I do, I tried everything, but nothing works anymore. It’s a long story: In short, I was in love with a sociopath for two years. I was depressed, my results study life degraded, but recently I got over that depression and I don’t miss him much anymore. I had never had the urge to understand my mother, I was rough, selfish, underestimating her all the time, but after my love life I understood her, I understood her feelings, emotions, her worries, her sufferings. Her love made me feel I need nothing as long as she is there with me and I wanted to love her back. I tried to help and chat with her, but in the middle of that my father died last November from kidney disease. I wanted to be with her all the time, I wanted to talk with her, be there for her, but I wasn’t stable myself for my father’s death. I didn’t give admission exams of universities but I did one exam 3 days after his death, and the result came that I failed. But after his death, my mother’s siblings started to treat her like nobody and hurt her in many ways; one of them even almost cursed her. So in that way mom was totally shattered into pieces. But it has been 3 years, and still she continuously despises me, and thinks I’m trying to get something out of her by acting loving in front of her. If I share something with her, she uses that as a time bomb, and hurts me by my sad past. She accused me of stealing money; she thinks I’m a devil. At first I used to curse her, then secondly I used slangs and thirdly I spoke back. But then my friends asked me to remain silent, and when I did she started to misunderstand me more! And as for remaining silent she beat me bad, she stopped giving me food. So I started to talk with her logically, I requested her to be nice with me but she doesn’t listen or believe. I always pray to God and say that from tomorrow I’ll be nice, but when the morning comes she always says something so harsh that I just go nuts. If I talk with her nicely she says I’m tricking her, if I give her proof that she is wrong she says I’m a liar. I ended up throwing a Jesus statue out of the window crying, and yelling to him why does he always ruin my plan to be a good person. I tore up my favorite things so that I can attempt suicide and there will be nothing left of my personal taste. I can’t fix it anyway. Look I know I’m bad, I’m not good, but why is this happening? Why can’t I change anything? The more I try the more she destroys me. She loves me I know, so then when I stop being nice or stop trying she pulls me back to her and talks with me and asks me to try, so then when I try she still scolds me like a mad dog without understanding anything. The main problem is that I try, but it never works. I’m tired of always crying everywhere. There are more things that went wrong but this will take a week if I start! Listen I know I have done wrong, but I have tried talking, working, being nice, everything I could but nothing works. Can you please please help me? I’m a little Internet-obsessed, every teen is now, but she always thinks I talk with men, she thinks I search for boyfriends; it hurts so much I don’t even use my fb account, never upload or take selfies of me, but she still calls me prostitute or something, My phone got stolen twice and she said she wouldn’t give me a new one, so I bought a 2nd-hand phone out of my savings from a guy, and she is mad at me for that. She says I want to convince a guy to have sex. I’m so speechless that I stopped talking with her; it has been 3 days. My sister came from her in-laws to stay at home for a few hours but I didn’t go to see of her, I was so scared of mom. Can you tell me what should I do?Hi teen – I do have a few things to suggest, but I think the most important thing for me to say is I Am SO Sorry! I am sorry you’ve had to live with all this, I’m sorry about you losing your father, I’m sorry about your bad ... read more
- MamaD asks: I am a mother of 4: 26, 24, 12, and 9. I also to care of my 2 grandbabies and 3 nieces and nephew. Now…my question is HOW DO I GIVE EACH ONE MY ATTENTION when they all want it at the same time!?. They always tattling and arguing with each other! They get me to the point where I bust out in tears!!!!Hi MamaD – I have no doubt that you’re right, that they all want your attention. And that at least some of their misbehavior comes from their trying to get it. But I have very bad news for you: You’re only human. And you’re only ONE human ... read more
- Leeeee asks: My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for a year now, and we decided I should move in with her. So I’m staying with her now. She recently went for an interview where she works and she didn’t get the job, and was hurt because that was basically her position. So I tried to cheer her up, which helped a lot. Now she asked me if it was okay if she had to apply to another city far from where we live. I told her I would not have a problem with that, just because I don’t want to hold her back (Bear in mind we have big plans together). Now seeing she is going to apply to it, does this not mean she is being selfish or not? It seems as if I shouldn’t have moved in with her, because she is already thinking of going, but I just moved in 2 days ago. Should I just relax? I love this woman, but does she love me the way I love her?Hi Leeeee – Of course I don’t know exactly how your girlfriend feels about you – or about anything else – but I do see one big problem here. And I hate to say it, my friend, but the problem I’m seeing is in you. You point out ... read more
- Cupcake11 asks: There’s more to the story I told you before. It all started when my best friend didn’t tell me that she was gonna break up with her boyfriend. She told me when I questioned her, and what hurt me was that she had considered my opinion which I had stated months ago and didn’t even find the need to ask me once about what exactly I meant. Instead she listened to her other best friend who had betrayed her once. It broke my heart to hear that. And then 3 days later, I found out that she patched up with her boyfriend. Her getting influenced by that best friend of hers made me mad, and she tried convincing me – and in the end I did get convinced, thinking that she would give up on me and leave me. Now when things went wrong in my family, when my brother didn’t support me – even when I was right he supported his girlfriend and my uncle has been demotivating me by calling me ugly fat and useless and says I can’t do anything in life – when I got frustrated I thought of reaching out to my best friend, but she was sending one word replies or emoticons (which upset me because I was in a very emotionally vulnerable state) and 2 days later she texted “I’m sick I can’t talk to u over the phone,” and she started asking me questions instead, like if my uncle was seriously saying that and how I should tell my brother to take a stand for me, but she didn’t send a single comforting message. I felt very bad and decided not to tell her anything, and instead just formally talk to her. Please tell me what to do. She is a bit conservative, but whenever she needed me I was always by her side comforting her, and now when I needed her the most she wasn’t there.Hi Cupcake11 – Yes, this is TOUGH! So much at once, all seeming to express the same thing – that you can’t trust at all. And yes, we ALL have times like that, when the world is just plain weird, and we feel just that alone. (Well, ... read more
- wxyz asks – I can’t get a girl. In the beginning of college, I became addicted to meth. This burden took away everything from me. Distanced me from society, friends, family. Finally I realized, I was trying to give up. Fighting alone with myself, nobody to support. I stopped going to college. Everyone there mocking me, ignoring me. Then sitting in the dark, I got her, got a person to talk. She became my rehabilitation. Yes! I am rehabilitating, but also to make myself up to her. Going to classes, trying to study, trying to come back. She is there always from long distance, watching me in college: what I am doing, where I am going, am I smoking and also am I eye-contacting with her or not. Can I hear something from you for me and her? Yes, I remember you saying to remind myself that she’s not mine. Can I say that I am hers?Hi wxyz – May I start by saying… WOW! I am so impressed! I’ve never had crystal methamphetamine, what’s commonly called meth (I’m such a hyper pup, Handsome won’t even allow me to taste coffee!), but from what I hear it’s one of the most addictive substances ever invented. ... read more
- rohit1996 asks: Two weeks ago I started relationship with a girl. We talked everyday with messages and calls. I shared all my secrets with her, and she was also very friendly with me. But suddenly, I don’t know how, she stopped conversation with me. Even when I message her she says, “I have no mood to talking this time, we have to talk later,” and later she can’t reply to my message. This thing happened two or three times in the last two days. Now she isn’t replying to my message. What can I do now?Hi rohit1996 – As a dog, I’m very used to having a problem with time. My human, Handsome, who I love more than life, will leave me at home in the morning. And after an hour or so, I’m in a mix of terror that he’s never coming home ... read more
- shxnamaria asks: I’ve been in a relationship for the past 6 months and he’s an amazing guy. It’s just that I’m the super popular party-going kind and he’s the exact opposite; a studious quiet introvert who’s prone to intense bouts of self-loathing. We each have had a failed relationship before this and that in fact brought us closer to each other. I had a boyfriend for 2.5 years and we broke up cause things were getting rough at home and also it was gonna end up being a long distance one. In his case, he was obsessed with a girl for a whole year only to realize that she was just using him to get over her on and off “slut phase.” I wear my heart on my sleeve and I love expressing my emotions regardless of who’s watching me or wherever I am. The fact that he chooses to push me away just cause “people are watching” hurts me. A lot in fact. And when I ask him for a kiss or a hug he makes up reasons to get over it. We live in a place where there’s 0 probability to get some much needed alone time, and all I’m asking if for a few stolen pecks, and he thinks that the physicality is the only driving force in our relationship. And he’s the kind of person who gets committed to a lot of things at the same time and leaves me hanging in the middle of nowhere. He doesn’t talk to me or spend time with me like he used to do. He calls me inconsiderate and selfish for asking for some time with him. I mean it’s reached a point where he doesn’t call or text me without me doing it first. He’s also ready to jump at it when I suggest a break. Like he’s been waiting for it for a long time. He’s also this kinda person who can shut me up with his arguments. I don’t know what to do. I just am stuck in a ditch. Should I take a break or just leave him and go? Or adjust with all this and live with a heavy heart?Hi shxnamaria – I can relate to both sides in this case, at least on the Public Displays of Affection issue. I am an extremely enthusiastic in my affection, and love to jump on people and lick them all sorts of times when they don’t want me to. On ... read more
- My pack asks: I have been in a long distance relation with a guy for 2 years. We have a very healthy relationship. So, my problem is a girl. She is a part of the group of friends he also belongs to. They had a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship before I entered into his life. When our relation was new, they both again came close and I caught some messages on his phone and he confessed to me he kissed her. After this incident, they broke their friendship but since they both are a part of the same group they met in groups. My boyfriend and I broke up the past month for a few days and in that span of time they again became friends. I am insecure now. What should I do?Hi My pack – So I’ll admit I have a bias here – I tend not to like long-distance relationships, for just these reasons. First, because it’s so hard for young people to remain faithful to someone they hardly ever see, and second, because it’s just about impossible to ... read more
- Spiky 401 asks: I just got into college, and immediately met this dude. It’s almost a month now, we started talked for sometime and decided to exchange numbers and see each other, but we didn’t because I had to visit my aunt at her house. After I got back to school we finally met and went out to a park. Nothing happened there, we went back to school, but not straight to the hostel, we strolled around the school and sat down in a quiet area. We talked about some things like family, entrepreneurship, school (he’d just graduated out of the same school). Then he asked me if I had dated before, I told him yes and that I would never like anyone the way I liked my ex. He asked me to tell him about my ex, which I did, and he promised to make me forget about him. From there he held my hand, stood up, and made me stand up. He hugged me real tight. It was shocking but comforting. From there, he picked me up from the ground – right that moment I thought he was gonna attack me but he didn’t, he dropped me and then he started to kiss me, I mean I have never kissed or hugged a dude but here he was kissing me. Every time I tried to pull away he stopped and hugged me until I got used to his lips on mine. I barely know the guy and I don’t feel that connection I had with my ex. But after the kiss I kept on recalling it and wanting to see him more. Please what do you advise I do, to be on the safe side without losing my innocence?Hi Spiky 401 – Well, my quick answer is that I want you to get a little more spiky, Spiky! But here’s my long one. First, I want you to go to AskShirelle.com, and search for a question asked by HarrietteS, and read it and my answer. ... read more
- Shin asks: I was approached by a 14-year-old, ‘x’, for sex. I’m 23, I have never done it in my life, it is very tempting, I wish to marry x someday, but I can’t say for sure because in our community parents decide our marriages. Should I do it now or should I wait it out? I’m very tempted and losing my confidence to say no every time I think about this. I haven’t done anything or responded to it, but I have let x know I like x very much . I’m torn apart by temptation and fear of losing and doing something bad to x. Don’t want to hurt x but want x in my life in a carnal way. I thought I had this but I’m starting to feel depressed about my love life which is practically zero, which makes this more tempting. Can’t seem to shake off the idea. X asked me whom I’ll marry and I said are you interested and x just shied away. We haven’t had an opportunity to talk alone since, but I’m scared if I do anything to her it might ruin both our lives. Please help.Hi Shin – This is a very tough situation, I understand. You haven’t had the experiences you’ve wanted, and now you’re being offered something that seems wonderful, by someone who’s willing. How could I possibly suggest you say no? But I’m going to. And really only for ... read more
- Manisha asks: I have been in a relationship for the past 4 years. We are very serious about each other. I also have a job, but my boyfriend does not like this, but I want to do this job because it’s a good company and for me it’s a big opportunity. He wants me to leave this job because my job hours are 1pm to 10 pm, which he doesn’t like. Before this job I already worked with 2-3 companies also, but always he said to me that leave those also. I even worked in day shifts before, which he also didn’t like, but now I want to do this job and I want his support. He is short-tempered, and while I know he loves me very much, he speaks very harshly to me about my job. And his family also does not want me to do this. We have regular fights with each other. I don’t understand how to convince him. And I love him so much that I am searching for another job. So please tell me, is that good to work late at night? I have always to be on time, and on a daily basis I am doing video calls, phone calls – in short, I am giving my 100% for this relationship but I don’t want him to be sad. I don’t know what’s the problem with me doing this job. I can’t live without him. Should I leave this job for his happiness?Hi Manisha – Wow, I’m really torn on this. On one hand, I love that he wants more of you, that he hates having you away from him, but on the other, it sounds like he might have that attitude that says that women shouldn’t work – and ... read more