StefeX asks: I’ve been in an undefined relationship with someone whom I’ve fallen in love with over the past two years. Our relationship started out as strictly platonic friends but became full-on. The woman I have been seeing was separated from her husband due to him cheating on her with his colleague for seven years now. I have been her help raising her children from the age of one and five. I potty-trained her son, got him off the bottle and helped with other aspects of his development. I’ve helped her daughter since she went to school with homework and reading as well as implementing discipline when needed. Our relationship was quite fine until I got wind of her chats with an ex-boyfriend who would constantly flirt with her, and I felt she entertained this behavior. Valentines Day of 2017 I was confronted by her grabbing her phone and quickly erasing messages from him that was sent between each other. I have never liked this man or his candor for her. Recently I moved back to my hometown and found out by way of stalking her Whatsapp that they were at it again. She got super defensive saying I was lying, that I hacked her Whatsapp (which I did but I wasn’t going to tell her that because her personality is of such a nature she makes you feel bad or wrong for questioning her, even knowing you are right). She says I have insecurity issues and that in the past three years of being together physically, I was never a boyfriend. Now after the fact that she’s finally divorcing on May 28, she wants to venture out into different relationships. In the past I have also not been squeaky clean as I have lied to her about trivial things (even I don’t know why I did), and these have led to trust issues, which I believe in my heart we can work on. However I am caught up in pain so bad, as I believe I have found my soulmate and I don’t want to give her up to a booty call because she’s truly an amazing person. I know that I too am at fault in this relationship, but I need advice on what defines cheating in her instance, and what defines a relationship in mine, because I know I am in one with her – and what I should do going forward.