Reena asks: It’s been more than nine years now that my single mother is an alcoholic. I won’t bore you with the details because even I am genuinely fed up and bored. Pastors, priests, counseling, therapy, lectures, elderly wise ppl advice etc. Everything is tried and tested, nothing has worked. SHE DOESN’T WANT TO QUIT. I am not a manipulative person and don’t know how to handle the issue. Over the years she has ruined our Birthdays, feasts, all special occasions with her uncontrollable drinking. The problem is, she is not a bad person. When she is sober, she is the sweetest, nicest person you might have met. When my friends come home, they like her more than me. I have asked her repeatedly over the years, what she wants? But she won’t open up. Trust me Shirelle, if she wants to re marry, I’ll stand by her. Forget society, forget her brothers and sisters. I’ll stand by her. Maybe she’s lonely, I don’t know. I’ve tried to figure out but in vain. She is a hairstylist and a few months back lost her work stuff worth almost 25,000. Lost a watch I gifted her worth 10,000 and has lost so many phones that she could appear in the book of records. She couldn’t care less. In my society, I am the crazy one because of my yelling and crying and breakdowns. I have stopped all that now since it is only painting me badly. I am all of 27 and am being very honest in this email. I have no Life and though I don’t show it, my colleagues see through me. They know I have no Life. There are a lot of money problems going on in the house right now and I give my entire salary in the house and sit at home every weekend because I have no money to go out. I have lost a few friends because of this and guys who I could date. Believe it or not, I have dated just one guy so far, that too online relationship. He never came to meet in person. My cousin’s sister makes fun of me because she knows I never have money. I am trying to help her as much as I can but don’t know what else to do. Maybe lack of money is the reason for her drinking, I don’t know. I have never told this to anyone but I am confiding in you in this email. I am even contemplating never getting married so I can help her financially till the end. She is a single mother and my father never provided any alimony. I know Life has been hard for her. And all I can do is help her. But I really don’t know what else I can do. She is very immature and I am tired of playing her mother. I genuinely don’t want to. I want to live like other normal single girls my age, who live and enjoy their lives. Please advise ??
Hi Reena – Oh my dear, I have so much to say in response to you, it’s hard to know where to start. But maybe it’s best with the physical. I don’t know about birds, fish, or insects, but it does seem that all us mammals have brains ... read more