Casmir asks: Hey, hope I will get help and won’t be judged. I am gay and I have been in a discordant relationship with my boyfriend for the last six months. He loved me the way I am, though he came to know my HIV status before I could tell him, but he later was okay with it and loved me unconditionally. Well my viral loads have not been good of late and I was given three months to do the next one (this month was the last month) but lately I came to realize that I was not the problem; I have been taking the wrong medication for one year now and that is why my viral load went high. I was depressed and felt frustrated. On Sunday I called my boyfriend. He was at work. I told him how I felt, and he told me he is coming to see me. In a few minutes time he was at my place, so I shared how I felt, but what he said shocked me. He told that he feels like he is now at risk of getting HIV and he doesn’t want the relationship anymore. I was so emotional that I couldn’t help it. He later went back to work. I was so depressed, hurt and in pain that I texted him, and later at night he called me and told me that he wants us to be friends, that nothing is gonna change apart from the intimacy part. I tried to stop him from making the decision but he said we should try it. I am not comfortable with the friendship thing, since it will hurt me more knowing that he is not my boyfriend but we still hang out together. I just don’t know what do. I am hoping that he will change his mind later on and decide to be together; maybe this was too much for him to take in, or is it because he is undergoing so much pressure at his work place that he just wants to break up (since we were on a relationship break we had finished one week). I am confused and desperate. Please help.
Hi Casmir – I’m in a very difficult position here. On one hand, you’ve dealt with a lot of unpleasant issues – you were born with a quality that a lot of the world stupidly and unfairly rejects, you got a terrifying medical condition, and you have been “friend-zoned” by ... read more